when to give up on T..?

[nats]

(08-31-2012, 05:30 PM)Tangled Web Wrote: Looking at everything just to find an excuse to stop T.....and trust me I have found alot of them! But still I go out of habit, like you said or because I think I need to be in T......(but I am starting to realize it is true)

for me, i don't need T. I can cope with everything in daily life I need to. the stuff i can't cope with doesn't exist for me so i can ignore it. the others need some help and maybe even support but they have decided it is a waste of time trying to communicate.

(08-31-2012, 05:30 PM)Tangled Web Wrote: But I do believe that you need to build the trust with your T before you go deeper into things. Your T might surprise you and be there for you!

yes, she does surprise us sometimes but usually not.

(08-31-2012, 05:30 PM)Tangled Web Wrote: Maybe it would help if you made a list of what they are and take it to your T...... and ask her to help you deal with them and be straight up with them.....

yes, we did. but it still requires us to resolve them. not sure what T is supposed to do to help.

(08-31-2012, 05:30 PM)Tangled Web Wrote: I know if I keep accepting it things will NEVER change for me.......Just a thought.

Yes, and then what...? HOW do you change?

(08-31-2012, 05:30 PM)Tangled Web Wrote: I need to work on myself, I need to put the time and energy into doing that and believe that things can change (which I don't think they can right now, but hoping they will) so I guess it is time to stop coasting so much and start looking at things.......I wish I knew what that would look like......

and i've realised that we have a limited amount of time/energy and if its spent on really working in T its not spent paying the mortgage and putting food on the table. Career and child come first. this is probably the key factor. we used to think we could do it all - we can, but when we do it all we don't do any of it well.

(08-31-2012, 05:30 PM)Tangled Web Wrote: you asked mosiac how to go deep...........I think part of it is by letting go of some of your control over everything. Just a hunch, but that is where i would start.

can you explain? not sure what we're controlling for. do you mean not censor what we say in T or something else?

thanks for taking so much time to respond. feel like its giving up to stop, but feel like its wasting time to continue..