when to give up on T..?

[The People]

We have been through several Ts as we fgure we have been at this now for 2 1/2 decades. A few have been very good, some have barely passed muster and then there are those who did more harm than good. That is the risk that you take. I never stayed with the bad ones except for the first one. I never knew that I was allowed to say "this isn't working". Used to be the same with doctors. Thankfully she moved away.

I didn't talk at all. They tried everything. One of them said "I don't know how to help you which was a sign of wisdom although I didn''t take it that way; felt abandoned. If more therapists did this, recognized heir limits, more of us would move ahead further.

Some things to ask yourself are
- Do you trust this T? Without trust there is nothing to build a relationship on. After all of this time you should know if there is a sense of trust; or if it is at least starting. In a healthy relationship it doesn't come overnight but it has to be there before anything else works.
- Does s/he understand DID? And I don't mean she took a class on it or read some books.
- Does s/he try to use alernatives to talking to help you get below the surface? Drawing, playroom, stuffies for the littles?
- Do you correspond with her between sessions? I don't mean calling her every day but do you ever try writing or drawing something that comes up when you are not there?

I could go on but the bottom line is, what keeps you there? And what is plan B if this doesn't work (only you can decide that)

Walking away from a T is really scary. I had one T who told me that I would never find what I was looking for if I walked away from her (standard hours, ability to write any tie I wanted and call in an emergency) She had a play room. If I called to contract she would not just say OK she would give me some suggestions on how to refocus over the weekend so that I was not focused on self destruction.

Write down what this T provides you. And write down what you want from a T (maybe do second one first). See if they compare. It is your call.