spacing out and not truly engaging

[Katz Krew]

I'm finding it hard to focus when having conversations with my friends. Very distracted. Spoke to 3 diff ones today and realize that I really couldn't tell you details of the conversations we had. This is something that seems to happen pretty frequently. Two were dealing with heavy issues and really needed my support. Feeling like I failed them somehow. It's like when you hear someone but aren't truly listening and then they ask a question or go silent and you wake up knowing it's your turn to say something and i panic cause i have no idea how to respond.

It's always after the fact I become aware that I did it again. I don't mean to be "spacey" with them but I'm not really aware I'm doing it til hours later. IDK how to stop doing it. My brother brought it to my awareness ab 6mos to a yr ago and I seemed to be doing better with connecting with people but today it happened again. One friend was over two hours on the phone. I feel like such a bad friend but don't know how to stop since I'm not aware of it til after the fact. A lot of times I'm in front of the computer which distracts me or I find I play Scrabble on my DS if I'm in my bedroom. This doesn't happen as blatently if we are in person tho I do get a touch of the spaciness at times. Just find it hard to focus and feel much like a little kid who just wants to play instead of doing homework.

Why is it so hard to connect with people? And how am I ever going to have a romantic relationship if I continue to do this?!?!?

<3
Jamie for Katz Krew.