Having Children

[MakersDozn]

Hi Sara,

This is our experience....not meant to discourage you or anyone else who wants kids. It's about being true to what's right for us.

We are body-age 50 and the oldest of three children. Our mother was multi but to our knowledge was never diagnosed. She died 12 years ago. We have two brothers, and we are the only one of the three children who is multi.

We agree with those who say that the potential to dissociate can be inherited. When we were a kid, our mother's behavior seemed normal to us, but in retrospect, it was glaringly inconsistent. She mentioned from time to time that she wanted to be a better mother than her own mother had been.

We came to realize that while this was a noble idea, in itself it wasn't enough of a reason for her to have children. Our mother was 21 and our father was 22 when they married, and we/MDs were born a year later. The two of them really had no idea what they were doing. They tried, and they meant well, but our mother had so much baggage that she couldn't help letting it affect her, even though she was trying to do things better.

When we were in the fourth grade, someone(s) on the inside decided we didn't want kids of our own. Of course, we didn't know we were multi then, but we were very certain that taking care of ourselves was a full-time job, and that we didn't have the energy to give to a child or the desire to risk perpetuatiing the cycle. Likewise, we choose not to have a relationship, but that's for another topic.

Our thoughts are with you as you consider what's best for your situation.

MDs