is it bad?

[Dreamscapes Collectives]

(08-05-2012, 10:30 PM)orek Wrote: *sigh* nothing we do is good enough....

Boy, we know that feeling. I agree with MDs and Tangled Web, however. You are not bad, lazy, deficient, or any of those negatives you are tempted to use out of fear that you are somehow failing. You're not. We also were on SSI at one time. We were doing the best we could then, just as we are now. The fact that we are working now and could not then does not change that fact. I agree with Tangled: "All we can do in this life is try our best, and we shouldn't expect anymore from ourselves than that."

We didn't ask to have trauma dumped on us, nor all the subsequent symptoms and issues and struggles. And things and people and situations are way, way too complex to just compare and say, "Well so-and-so can work, so why can't I?" Any one of us may, and often does, utilize such governmental support agencies (which is what they're there for), just as we utilize other types of available support as needed. Some people seem to heal without the help of therapy, whereas I/we need the help of a good therapist. Who knows all the whys and ins-and-outs that differentiate one person's path from another's, or what one person may need at one point in her journey as opposed to another point.

Please try not to beat yourselves up. Even with working, my partner and I struggle financially, barely make it each month and, in fact, are losing ground each month. It's hard not to berate myself for not doing "enough" for our situation or being "good enough" in general. I think that kind of self-blaming, unfortunately, comes easy for survivors. We're already programmed to take the blame! But the fact that you're struggling and need help is not a failure, not something to shame yourselves for, okay?

I know it's easier said than done, but I hope you can take in all of our messages of NON-blame and give yourselves a break for receiving help. Take care.--orek

Hey orek. There's a lot in your post that does help some of us feel better. we are bad about the comparing ourselves to other people and feeling as though we are lacking or don't measure up. and yeah, it's REALLY easy to fall into the self-blame pit. we're good at that, as well as the free-floating guilt complex. it's hard to see ourselves clearly...especially these days. Oh and that "I'm not good enough" thing, yeah we get that SO much.

thanks for posting and hearing us.
realms people