(07-18-2012, 07:28 PM)shades Wrote: ...the parts of positive human experience i was talking about were things like loving someone, feeling loved, wanted, nurtured, cared about, worthwhile to one or more other humans. caring about other people in those same ways, nurturing someone else. having a sense of belonging. feeling deeply connected to and understood by someone else.
I agree here. I think that the positive human experiences you have described here require somewhat of an "open heart" - and that's why it feels so vulnerable. In order to let in the good feelings - like love - you have to open the castle gates so to speak, and that allows in feelings like hurt.
re: Anger. In the past I have noticed that I "do" anger over some of the other emotions for the primary reason that anger makes me "less vulnerable". I sort of used anger as a "cover up" feeling. If I identified with the anger, I would not feel the pain of the hurt so much. Feeling angry - "
Being Angry" - was a way of putting up my hands and stopping someone - "that's close enough", it might signal.
I do think that anger by itself is just a feeling. A hot, visceral feeling that I don't like something (only stronger than that!) What I *DO* with the anger is what makes it empowering for me or just frustrating. If I use the heat - the "energy" to do something to make a change, then I find it empowering. If I just use it to seethe, and glare and become generally unfit for company, then, well, I become unfit for company. LOL And that is sometimes a good thing!
MD - I have done twelve step programs before and found them quite useful and therapeutic. Rather like free therapy. Also like therapy in that you get out what you put in, in many ways.
One of my favority parts of Alanon was the Serenity Prayer:
Quote:Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
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