curious how you are doing

[just peachy]

I AM SCARED OF THE LACK OF CONTROL OVER THE ALTERS .. I DONT ALWAYS THINK AND ACT RATIONAL EVEN IN WEIRD OR DANGEROUS SITUATIONS ..IT MAY SEEM AND APPEAR THAT I AM THE HOST PERSONALITY ACTING IN COMMAND BUT IN MOST TIMES ITS NOT ...PESONS HAVE POINTED OUT TO ME MOSTLY THAT THEY SEE AND HAVE SEEN THE CHILD ALTERS ...NOT THERAPISTS BUT PRIESTS I HAVE KNOWWN AND BUS DRIVER THAT I KNOW LONG TIME .. MOST OF THE TIME IT IS BASICALLY LOOKING AT A BRICK WALL AS OPPOSED TO A GLASS WINDOW ...I WILL GIVE AN EXAMPLE FOR OVER5 5 YEARS NOW 3 MEN HAVE ST ALKED ME DAY AND NIGHT ....AS STRANGE AS THAT SOUNDS ... YES THIS IS TRUE ..TOTAL STRANGERS 2 BUS DRIVERS HAVE SEEN THEM VARIOUS TIMES ..FOLLLOWING ME I CALLED POLICE THEY DO NOTHING I PUT IN A WRITTEN REPORT TO THE POLICE ...2 BUS DRIVERS AND I FOUND SOME INFO ABOUT THEM OVER THE YEARS THEY ARE RELATED TO A STUDENT I TAUGHT IN KINDERGARTEN ... I EVEN REPORTED THIS TO THE POLICE ABOUT THIS KID THAT IS 23 YEARS OLD NOW TO THE POLICE ABOUT THE STALKERS .BEING RELATED THERE IS SOME DRUGS INVOLVED AND DEALING RELATED TO THIS ..THE STUDENT AND THE STALKERS DIDNT KNOW I WAS HIS TEACHER AIDE ...ITS COMPLEX SITUATION SO I WENT GO INTO IT ... SO ITS NOT AS SIMPLE WITH THIS SITUATION .AS WELL AS THE OTHER SITUATION AT THE TERMINAL AS THE RELATIONSHIP IS OVER LIKE YOU STATED ....THERE NEVER WAS A RELATIONSHIP TO BEGIN WITH ..IN EITHER SITUATION IT IS A SICK FANTASY THAT SOME SICK MEN CONJURE UP AND WONT LET GO OF ....AND SO WHAT HAPPENS IS I CANT CONTROL MYSELF OR ALTERS SO I CONTINUALLY GET STUCK IN TALKING TO PERSONS I DONT WANT TO TALK TO OR HAVE ANY PART OF ..SOME PERSONS HERE AND OTHERWISE HAVE ISSUES AND ARE BLESSED WITH THE DID THEY DONT HAVE THESE ISSUES THAT I HAVE AND THEY CAN WORK I CANT WORK NOW CUZ OF THE DID ..SO THESE WEIRDOS SAY STRANGE THINGS TO ME AND I RESPOND WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT I AM DOING ,OR SAYING AS WELL AS WHAT ALTER IS OUT ..SOMETIMES I CATCH ON AND SEE WHATS HAPPENING UNTIL AFTER IT HAS HAPPENED PEACE AND BLESSINGS JP