Stress tried to kill me

[Cammy]

dreamers: When I am conscious/awake, I have all the control in the world over this. All of my personalities are able to step past anxiety and put it behind them. My conscious mind has quiet places where there is nothing but silence and peace, and I also use mindful meditation where the focus is only on the breath and nothing else. My issue is when I am either just about to drift into sleep or am actually asleep. My conscious mind is no longer in control, and that's when the anxiety runs amok. We were given Remeron for night time, but it is causing severe migraine every night a few hours after taking it. It's too bad because the Remeron was working, even though we were fairly groggy during the day. During the years we have developed a bad migraine reaction to SSRIs and SSNRIs, so we are at a loss what to do. We don't see a psychiatrist until the first part of July, and that's a long time to try and stay alive. BUT...I am seeing my doctor next week with a list of possible alternative meds. One of them is Buspirone and also there are the Beta blockers (which I think in small doses may help). Unfortunately this is not my doctor's comfort zone, and the chances of her trying something new is small. But, as we all here know, it can take a lot of hit and miss trials before just the right medication is found. I have been given a liberal supply of benzodiazepines, but I have to be very cautious with these. It only takes a few weeks to become addicted, and once this happens, weaning off of this class of drugs safely can take up to or over a year (when done correctly). Having been through this process once already where a two week heavy use of Lorazepam lead to a 14 month psychiatric supervised weaning period, complete with insomnia and drenching night sweats, I am not eager to repeat that mistake twice. While the Remeron allows me to sleep without panic attacks, the subsequent severe migraine pushes my blood pressure through the roof from the pain alone. I am seriously thinking about asking her for a beta blocker, to help with the anxiety, keep my BP down, and also as a migraine preventative. I can't see her refusing me if this drug will help in so many ways.

If anyone here has had any experience with any anti anxiety medication, or even with medication that is not classed as anti anxiety but helped, I would REALLY appreciate hearing about your experiences. I am quite desperate to get this under control until I can get to a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Also, your experiences may well contain some medication suggestions that I can run by my reticent doctor. Thank you. I just want to reiterate that I have employed every non-medicinal coping technique currently in use, and my present condition outstrips all of these. I am eager to hear about other's experiences. I need the help of this community. Thank you so much in advance for taking the time to assist me.