Misunderstood

[Cammy]

Thank you VioletPeach! By the very nature of what made us become multiple, we all, I believe, have large trust issues. Once we place our trust in someone, we have the expectation that they will understand us. Perhaps my expectations are misplaced, but yes, it still hurts. We are all ultra-sensitive to issues of blame and abandonment as these are directly tied to our trust issues. I suppose that makes us over-sensitive when we are misunderstood by those we trust. This is just something that I have to work on, and I suspect that many here also have this struggle to overcome. It isn't feasible to trust no one (my old motto: Humanae non confido - trust no one). In truth to get through life we have to trust someone at some point in time, whether it be a spouse, a friend, or a therapist. But we are all cautious and our trust has to be earned, for sure!

I had read somewhere that one of the signs of potential mental illness was the perpetual feeling of being misunderstood by others. This was only one symptom along with many others. My feelings of being misunderstood usually occurs when I've been horribly triggered, and I believe that my teen, Fagan, is the one that has the strong reaction to this. Once I settle down and slowly switch back to my host personality, the feeling of being misunderstood seems to fade and I am no longer hypervigilant and feeling that the whole world is against me. I guess it just depends which personality is 'out'. Still, you are right to point out that the invalidation is totally unacceptable, mostly because of our expectations of finding succor and comfort from those we trust the most and who we thought truly understood us are the ones who have invalidated our feelings.