Nights are really bad right now

[Cammy]

Lately as soon as the sun goes down my anxiety and panic potentials ignite. I dread the night. I dread the thought of trying to go to bed. I am a mess at night. Everyone is asleep and I feel isolated and alone in my terror and fear. At least the dogs are here. I am so stoic. No one would possibly guess how truly distressed I am. I can't reach out because it is hard for anyone to believe that anyone so calm could truly be in deep distress. All of my normal coping techniques are out-stripped by this. It really sucks. A saying keeps popping into my head - "To GET through it you have to GO through it".  I feel like my head is caught in a 12-step meeting or some sort of support chat group or something. It is SO bizarre. 

All I can do to get through this total insanity is to wait until I just collapse with fatigue, and then wait for the feeling of relief when the first rays of the sun start emerging in the east. Night brings out the worst in whatever it is we are going through whether it is a bad cold or a depression or anxiety. I just want this to stop. I am getting SO tired. I tried going on an anxiety chat room type thing and OMG what a joke that was. I wouldn't recommend it. I just have to hold on and hold on some more, like all of us do. There are times when I wish for just a few hours/days relief from all of this...oh boy, I guess I really must be tired.  Tomorrow is another day, and, thank goodness, another sunrise. While the sun is out, the terror fades to a tolerable level. I am EXHAUSTED.