How's Everyone Doing?

[Cammy]

I always find that those occasions and holidays when people are all 'happy, happy, joy, joy' are the toughest for me to endure. I resent the fact that so many others seem to be able to enjoy things that I do not. That makes me hate the holiday and to hate the happy people. That is not fair, but it is the way I have always felt. As I get older, however, I seem to be focusing less on what makes me unhappy, and more on what makes me happy. I tend to ignore those times of the year that are personally triggering, and just try to do things that I like to do. I've slowly discovered that even though I am 'different' I too can create my own 'happy happy' moments, and thus do not need to resent others. I know that my ways of being happy or joyful will never be the same as what makes the majority of people happy, but nowadays this distinction is more pleasing to me than it ever used to be. The fact that I am different has become a private source of satisfaction, and these seasonal triggers are slowly diminishing as I find a deeper appreciation and acceptance for myself just the way I am.