what is safety?

[Cammy]

The concept of safety fluctuates with whatever my current situation is. While walking in a dark parking lot, safety thoughts are about physical safety from robbery or assault. In social situations, safety involves not letting myself disclose personal information or say something that may make me vulnerable to psychological ridicule or abuse. When I am around certain individuals who in the past have hurt me emotionally (usually unintentionally), safety involves avoiding those issues or topics or situations that brought on the harmful behaviour from the other person. Bottom line, however, is that safety is protecting myself on all levels: physical, emotional, or financial. As multiples most of us have a protector personality within us. My safety monitor is always on duty in the background whenever I am around other people, mostly because people have been the source of pain in the past. My safety monitor is very active within me - I am always vigilant regarding safety issues not just emotional, but in every aspect of my life - driving, working with tools, the list goes on. I even think that my vigilance is a little over the top compared to most people, but part of this viewpoint was occupationally acquired. In my previous profession safety was always a number one consideration, and the habit of thinking in terms of safety never leaves you. As a multiple, I am also very sensitive to any sort of abuse, perceived or real, and I find that I will go to great lengths to avoid placing myself in harm's way. Safety is at the forefront of the way I live my life, who I communicate with, how I communicate with them, and it seems to rule the way I plan and execute all that I do. I suppose I am a sort of slave to safety, but it is a cage that I have built around myself for what I feel are good reasons.