One Insider's Issues Slowing Other Insiders' Healing?

[Cammy]

Things got so toxic in our system with one person acting out by lashing out in the outside world that we had to just go to T and find ways to mediate a change. The way things were feeling inside was so dark and I was definitely feeling like the lowest form of life on earth. When this happened, it was a case of one individual pulling everyone else into a pit. I was feeling ruined, and worse, the situation was disrupting my spiritual life and my relationship with my higher power. So off to our trauma/DID T, and she managed to suggest a few things I could do to find out what was going on with this person. I went home, let the person write for an hour, and then things from the past came to the surface that made it crystal clear why she was feeling so much resentment. We now have a place to start working from.

The whole point of that was to illustrate that I too do struggle with the darkness that my internal system causes more often than not. It is complicated, painful, and until you can get to the root of it, you suffer and sometimes so do the people around you. We totally can relate to your situation, MD, and sometimes share in the struggle. Peter Gabriel put it aptly as "Digging in the dirt, Find the places that we hurt..." I just love that song.