T.......

[Unity]

i know this feeling you describe this well =) you got me thinking on why this happen =) But it's clear it's totally like this, i see the words, i can totally hear them, i can do all the mental effort to structure the sentence and visualize what i want to say, but then saying it it's like my lung would rather choke lol

Sometime even simple things like how are you and i'm trying to figure out how i am, and what's on my mind and it just turn out the same like in the end i'm liked verbally blocked :p

Quickly i'd say it's maybe just simple the fact to retriggr all the memory create already a sort of paralysis or state of confusion in sense of self, and possible social consequences of expressing the memory that could come as a protest against it also in a way, or when then i'm supposed to come up with some kind of judgement on the situation in the same time that i remember it, it can quickly become very distressing and confusing and totally blocking me verbally even if i can frame sentences in my mind, and even polishing them sometime for very long time as to how to express it the more easily, but there is clearly a big step sometime between framing the thought and being able to say it outloud even alone, but even more when it can involve perception that other can have of me through this, and that generally it's expected to have a sort of position or judgement on what happened.

I know it happened to me many time with a friend who helped me when plenty of things were sort of coming out, and even if i could turn the thing in my head 1000 times, it took me month before i could really speak to him about certain things, and it's not matter of trust in him or anything, i always had 100% trust in him, but it's clear the fact to put thing in word it also sort of materialize the fact and 'make it real' in a social context idk.