Speed of Processing

[MakersDozn]

Hello, FreyasSpirt. Some of the others have welcomed you on one of the other boards, but I wanted to reply to this topic, as it's highly meaningful to me.

I hope that you'll bear with me as I provide a bit of context. We are a non-host system that operates on a few basic beliefs, one of which is that once the first insider is formed, the original person ceases to exist as such. We prefer the word "formed" to the word "split," as the latter has a connotation of "brokenness" and irreversibility. "Formed" represents a process much like the use of clay or sand, which are more flexible.

Our first formation (or differentiation) occurred in infancy and resulted in the presence of baby amanda (who is still an infant) and me. She held physical sensations, and I held thoughts and feelings. I aged with the body until we turned 25, and I have remained at this age since.

As the oldest in our system (both in age and in arrival time) and the holder of most (but not all) of our trauma, I have the most to process in order to heal. And the individual healing work of anyone in our system affects the collective healing of the whole system.

So, this is my lengthy way of saying that my/our speed of healing will likely never be fast enough to suit me or the others, but it's as fast as is safe for us. Our therapist does a very good job of keeping us on track. We have to remember to be patient, and deal only with what we're ready to deal with right now.

I hope this helps answer your question.

Charity (with help from one or two others)