Just musing. I am safe

[The People]

I have been cutting the apron strings from T and PDoc slowly but surely. T gone, PDoc time cut in half by my choice. It does not sit well with anyone. If I had the big C and said enough is enough people might be upset but they would accept. When one has MH issues of any sort everyone goes nuts when the decision is made. I have been at this since 1988. I am tired of expecting miracles. Some people would choose the chemo and others wouldn't with the big C. Why can't it be that way with DID? Especially since there is so little expertise in this area in this city? And I cannot remember when I left an appointment with PDoc or T where I felt like I had at least 1 small AHA second.

No plans for self harm. Just tired. I have to have some connection with PDoc as I am on LTD and she needs to fill out the forms. She knows little about my condition. We rarely touch on the conditions for which I had started seeing her. I go in. Whine for 45 minutes. Get a px and leave. What's the freakin' point?