Having difficulty figuring this one out....

[Unity]

Well another example, a bit more 'adult' but still it's something that shocked me also to a degree.

It's when i watched the series dexter, in the very beginning of the first season, he say something that at some point rita his wife who was also victim of abuse at some point started to heal, and then dexter was worried that her libido would come back and that his own issues would come out.

Well it shocked me because i remember thinking something like this in high school when i was with the girl who had the pb with her father, well we were very close of each other, but i was thinking like having a girl friend at least i don't look like weird being single, and other girls leave me alone, weirdly enough i was not interested too much in sex, but with her it was different, and i though it was nice to be in a relation like this, and well thinking in the same line than dexter with this lol And at that time nobody knew there was a pb with her at all. It was so weird to watch this serie lol 

Even the psy at that time i remember once i took her with me to the psy, and the psy after looked at me like sort of worried or something asking me is there was something wrong with her, but i said no, he asked if everything was going fine with her i said yes , well there was nothing i really noticed at that time, but seing this in dexter it was so weird lol

And these are stuff that happened when i was 14/16 year old, so long time ago like 20 years ago. So if there is this kind of weird attraction to damaging/damaged thing, it was already long time ago. And i was already seing a psy at that time and well i was fine when i was child it was focused on drawing, dream analysis etc , but well it didn't do that much in the situation lol

But i didn't much realize much of this until idk maybe 5/6 years ago i started to see this kind of pattern more clearly. 

Well it's a series etc but also in the first season it's the same that he doesn't remember what happened during his youth, and at some point in the inquiry, he has to deal with a crime scene that make him a flash of something that he can't remember, but make him all dizzy and like wanting to faint and vomit etc like very weird, and usually he is not scared of blood or of this kind of things because he works in it all day. He is not exactly in panic either, or hyper ventaliting, i think the scening of this movie is well done for this.

When this thing of victim and all hit me i think mostly after i talked to the girl on the chat, usually i'm not shy at all with girl, and i don't have problem dealing with most situation, or idk it's very specific things, and the reaction is very strong like this.

Well i had flash like this with milenium and dexter a bit, but also i have plenty of 'dysfunctional behavior' related to many situation it's clear :p and it's lot of situation that has to do with victimization.