self sabotage

[The People]

today started off so good. but went down hill from there which I should have expected. On my way to pdoc got a letter in mail. says iothem over $100 for unpaid parking ticket. i remember the day as i avoid paid parking. i was early for a change. went out to get in car. guy was just finishing a ticket. said he cancelled it and walked away. now this statement where iothem $102.

went to pdoc. make up session as she cancelled earlier this week. family sh*t. only i got time wrong which was bad timing.

so mad. went for pizza and wine, as if i could afford it.

walking home head held high. tripped over a f*ck*ng speed bump just before home. hand and leg ratched to sh*t.

do you do this? self sabotage?

oh i forgot., nobody talks here anymore. i think i need to get my hand checked as it hurts like hell.

and i have been trying to help a guy which was working but now it is not. he owes me money so from now on pay in advance. he is as broke as i am but he had these f*ck*ng cars on his yard he can sell. my old pieca sh*t s '99 ford until i can afford better that costs me more than anything. only if i sell it i feel like i went back 30 years when i had nothing.