Retracing my steps

[The People]

I was a big sister for years before I moved to the city. Last spring I decided to volunteer with Boys and Girls due to the fact that I get overly attached when it is 1-1. But I love kids and we are happiest when we are around them. Two gets mad because she cannot come out but she likes to watch.

Today I re-contacted Boys and Girls. They are still happy to have me volunteer. I have 1 more reference to submit (well for them to contact) and then a 2 hour interview.

The hardest part initially was explaining that I had no family contact. I was angry so I am sure they wondered what the person would be like who showed up for the meeting. They wanted a family reference. I cannot remember what words I used when I told them my family was nuts. They were willing to look past that but I needed to provide an extra reference.

I went to the group training last spring. I had already decided that I didn't want more 1-1. When they started listing all of the things one cannot do as a 'Big' I was filled with guilt and hurt as some things got messed up with my littles. So I backed off. They actually emailed me and told me that it was unfortunate as they felt I could offer a lo of experience to the new people. So with that in mind I contacted them and they were happy to hear from me.

However, as I said I know I am happiest when I am with kids and I need to have things to do besides sit at home. So I contacted them today and wheels are turning once again. I have had a rough few days but I feel better suddenly. I have a plan for something. It feels right.