Building trust

[Tangled Web]

I have been working on building my trust with our T. I have been repeatedly asking questions and taking small risks and testing her to see if she was trustworthy and actually means what she says.
Today I crossed over a HUGE hurtle and took a huge risk and it paid off!
I believe she will NOT judge me now, that is what was accomplished today. And I have a strange feeling that I have never had before, but I feel if anything comes up (conflict between her and I) I will be able to talk to her about it. That is new for me. It is weird, but I think this might actually work this time.
Tangled

[angel with wings]

I have tested my T as well, for the same reason. But for me, my T refuses to help me through these tests. often find myself at an impass an don't know what to do..so trust is hard sometimes.

[Tangled Web]

I agree it can hard when the tests don't get a chance to run there course. The way I have tested her is by giving her a little bit and sees what she does with it and pick her brain about it trying to figure out if there is a loop hole in there somewhere. Then I give her a little more--once we are satisfied we have covered all our bases. There is a great deal of risk involved with doing this also but this time it worked out for the best. Which I must admit I am very thankful for. I don't know any other way to get past the trust issues other than to do this.
Tangled

[angel with wings]

TW, this is exactly what I do. Share a little at a time. If it gets stomped, I stop talking, trust lost. On the other hand, if it works out OK, then I continue. Sometimes I throw out something to see what happens, but when It's rejected, trust gone. Something I struggle with.

[57thomas]

Trust is almost impossible for me, there have been very few people in my life I could really trust. And that trust can vaporize at the drop of a hat, too. I learned early on that my T was so non-judgemental that I could say ANYTHING, and once I understood that, I realized I trusted her more than just about anyone, and it didn't even take very much time. I don't know if I was incredibly lucky, or if I just needed it so bad that I was willing take the chance and find out. But now I feel more comfortable talking to her than I ever have with anyone else. And I think being able to talk to her has made a big difference in my self-confidence and ability to talk to others, too.

[angel with wings]

57, that is great. My trust vaporizes as quick as dew on a sunny morning. My T is no different. So glad you found that special one. Glad she is a help to you. Keep up the good work.

[orek]

(08-26-2014, 09:47 PM)Tangled Web Wrote: I have been working on building my trust with our T. I have been repeatedly asking questions and taking small risks and testing her to see if she was trustworthy and actually means what she says.
Today I crossed over a HUGE hurtle and took a huge risk and it paid off!
I believe she will NOT judge me now, that is what was accomplished today. And I have a strange feeling that I have never had before, but I feel if anything comes up (conflict between her and I) I will be able to talk to her about it. That is new for me. It is weird, but I think this might actually work this time.
Tangled

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!