Panic Attack

[Tangled Web]

I think I have had my first ever fully blown panic attack. I was getting my apartment ready for my sister to come visit and was texting with my friend about not wanting my sister to come. Something was said about boundaries and how I could ask her to leave if I wanted to. Well I could never do that and was trying to explain why, because she was family. Then all of a sudden I couldn't breathe, my heart literally felt like it was going to jump right out of my chest. I felt trapped and suffocating. I don't remember what happened next. She came and left........But I realized so much after she had left. I panicked because she was bringing my past into my house. I had gotten rid of everything that reminded me of my past and there she was bringing it back in just having her as a presence in my place. It was like it was contaminated again. So many things fell into place for me though and I am finally starting to have things make some sense in my life again. Just wish that didn't have to happen to realize the things I had to see. It was horrible!
Tangled

[nats]

hi Tangled,
it makes sense. it's much easier to run away or get rid of everything that reminds us of bad times than it is to bring them into our home. well done for learning from it and hope you have some restful days.

[The People]

If our sister told us she was coming we would move. we have stayed with her and she has no boundaries or sense of how to entertain or be polite. 40 years later its all the same. never ever would we let her in the door. putting paper bag spot right here.

[Tangled Web]

(07-10-2014, 01:31 PM)nats Wrote: hi Tangled,
it makes sense. it's much easier to run away or get rid of everything that reminds us of bad times than it is to bring them into our home. well done for learning from it and hope you have some restful days.

Thanks nats. I guess it just goes to show you that there are many, many things that you can do to avoid/run away/deny so many things but until you are able to look at them and deal with them you will spend your life doing those things and always looking around every corner. That is the lesson I think we finally learned. It didn't matter how many people in the past have told us that...........I guess for us it one of those things we HAD to learn for ourselves.
Tangled

[nats]

(07-11-2014, 04:13 AM)Tangled Web Wrote: ...there are many, many things that you can do to avoid/run away/deny so many things but until you are able to look at them and deal with them you will spend your life doing those things and always looking around every corner. That is the lesson I think we finally learned. It didn't matter how many people in the past have told us that...........I guess for us it one of those things we HAD to learn for ourselves.
Tangled

if you've learnt that you've done more than most people manage! sounds like a celebration is in order

[Tangled Web]

Thanks nats