Support group for multiples

[The People]

I am waiting for a call back from a woman that I know who was introduced to us by phone long before we moved here. She works at a centre for people with all sorts of dark day issues.

Prior to moving to this city I had been warned about the lack of support. While not really believing it - couldn't imagine it as my smaller town/city provided me with all I needed by way of support. They learned as they went but they were open to me and mine.

However, knowing that there was no support I decided that I would start a support group. I was in a really good place in those months prior to moving. By selling my condo I removed all of my debt. Coming to terms with having to leave everything behind I was focusing on what I thought the big city would offer. Well, the debt free did not last long and with one thing leading to another I am poor and isolated as many here have acknowledged to be their state of being. I consider going back to work but it is like I self sabotage as soon as that idea comes up and I crash again.

Recently the idea of having a support group for multiples has wandered to the forefront of my running mind. Just wonder. If you knew that the place you were going to was safe, how would you feel about going to a support group for multiples? There are always thoughts like "what if somebody knows me?" but they would not be there if they were not dealing with the same thing. There is the risk of dealing with everybody switching and it being a lot of mumbo jumbo but with some ground rules in place I think that could be dealt with. My own switching flows for the most part and the change does not usually mean loss of topic; just a different perspective.

I am quitting the volunteer job I was doing for a few years for a few reasons. It is time to move on. However, I need human contact and without it I will drown. An occasional coffee and yoga where everyone goes into their own space doesn't cut it.

Thoughts? People do meet ups so I wonder what they would think of the group factor? I did read one book a lifetime ago where a guy tried to run a therapy group for multiples and it ended in chaos but this would not be for therapy; simply for sharing.

[Reilly]

Not being multi myself but rather having a child who is, I wish there was a group of some kind for those with DID and their significant others close to my home. Not necessarily for therapy but simply to discuss everyday living. It really helps to know that we are not the only family to be effected by this. That's why I appreciate Mosaic Minds so much. It just helps to know that I am not on this journey alone.

[Blue]

Yo The People.
I think a group for multiples is a great idea. If they had one here in the uk we'd definitely go to it. We only know 1 other multiple on the outside but it's great to meet up with her and share experiences and problems. I suppose a group would be a bit like MM but face to face. I think it could work really well. MM is real valuable to us. It's an outlet, a comfort and a friend all rolled into one. I imagine a group would have the same qualities.
Blue.

[dragonfairy]

We love the concept of a support group for others like us. My only concern about it is the same that we have now for us being a lesbian. Bashing and ignorant people. We already live in fear when we go out our door of people not being open minded and taking a chance at being beaten for being who we are in this close minded state that we live in here in the US. So for us we have the same fear for anyone finding out about us being a multiple. Unless this group was somewhere that was monitored and was not able to be found out what is was about by anyone other than those that were in the group we would be fearful of people who do not understand us and having some sort of violence against us and for us that has already happened enough in our lives.

We would love to live in a world that we could just go out and be ourselves daily. Meet up with others that are like us and just hang out and talk about our daily life and get some positive feed back and have no worries!! But the reality of that at least in our minds is that people are still not open minded enough to handle it. We barely live in a world where DID is an acceptable disorder so to speak. Here in Michigan we can receive mental health treatment for it. But when we lived out in Colorado for 5 years they refused us treatment as they said it didn't exist and so we had to go without all those years. So we know that reality is it is not acceptable to everyone as of now but we so with it was.

Sorry to be the party pooper of this post as that is so not usually me. Just putting in my two cents worth and how our system feels on this one. If there was a way to have this happen and it be where we felt safe and secure of course we would love to have something like this happen. At least then we would feel so alone all the time. That is why MM is so important to us as at least here we have friends and a outlet to the "outside" world again!

Andi and crew

[The People]

(08-25-2013, 02:41 PM)dragonfairy Wrote: We love the concept of a support group for others like us. My only concern about it is the same that we have now for us being a lesbian. Bashing and ignorant people. We already live in fear when we go out our door of people not being open minded and taking a chance at being beaten for being who we are in this close minded state that we live in here in the US. So for us we have the same fear for anyone finding out about us being a multiple. Unless this group was somewhere that was monitored and was not able to be found out what is was about by anyone other than those that were in the group we would be fearful of people who do not understand us and having some sort of violence against us and for us that has already happened enough in our lives.

We wrote pdoc about coming out multiple (or somebody) and said that in many ways it is harder than coming out Gay. We are too but not active so it is a non-issue. As for you, if it is so scary in your state is there any way of moving to one that is more accepting? Where I live is very red neck but not as bad as some American states.
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We would love to live in a world that we could just go out and be ourselves daily. Meet up with others that are like us and just hang out and talk about our daily life and get some positive feed back and have no worries!! But the reality of that at least in our minds is that people are still not open minded enough to handle it. We barely live in a world where DID is an acceptable disorder so to speak. Here in Michigan we can receive mental health treatment for it. But when we lived out in Colorado for 5 years they refused us treatment as they said it didn't exist and so we had to go without all those years. So we know that reality is it is not acceptable to everyone as of now but we so with it was.

Sorry to be the party pooper of this post as that is so not usually me. Just putting in my two cents worth and how our system feels on this one. If there was a way to have this happen and it be where we felt safe and secure of course we would love to have something like this happen. At least then we would feel so alone all the time. That is why MM is so important to us as at least here we have friends and a outlet to the "outside" world again!

Andi and crew

[dragonfairy]

The People,

Wish it were as simple as just up and moving. We used to live in a state where it was more accepting but it was also more expensive and we had less family and less of a support system. So there were pros and cons to living there.

Sometimes I think you just have to take the good with the bad and try to make the best of the bad situation. We just find that even though we are not accepted for who we are that we keep our own personal lives in that sense to ourselves and our close friends. We do not show public display of affection outside our homes any more then ever has to be such as kissing, or holding hands, ect which to us is hard and sad but it is what it is.

But thank you for your response and advice as we are always open minded and look forward to hearing from others in the community. This is the one place we feel "at home" and not judged in any way and we do dearly appreciate that!

The crew

[The People]

We would have trouble with public affection anyway. hell we have trouble with it in private. And you are right. No matter where you are there is good and bad. we think we might move within town. we considered moving out of town, out of province to where we have more friends. However, those friends are scattered across the island and have their own lives by now so there is no guarantee that things would be better there.

[nats]

such groups can be good and bad. mostly good as long as the groundrules/facilitation is good. challenges could be where to hold it and how to let people know about it (i.e. so people felt safe/comfortable).