Questions about tears

[The People]

I am trying to arrange a wedding surprise for a woman I really respect. It will take some work and some help if it does come to fruition. But it will make her happy. However, when I imagine it unfolding I get tears uin my eyes. It makes me want to put it aside but step one has already been taken. It may not happen but...

This often happens. They are not tears of happiness or tears of... I am not jealous of this woman's happiness. A bit envious maybe but her path is not and never will be mine. And the tears are not a first. I just don't know how to explain them I hate them and often avoid doing things because of them. As someone who never used to cry perhaps it is excessive leakage from too much build up. Share?

[Tangled Web]

Hi The People. What you write here sounds very familiar to me. There are times we get tears in the eyes when doing something or writing something that are totally unexplained and we stop as soon as they appear. It is almost a shock to us, or something....I never can find the right words to explain it either. When it is something we HAVE to do and it causes tears.....and I am sorry but I don't think is very helpful, but we shut things down somehow and do the task at hand without any emotion at all. I don't think that is a very healthy way to do things, but it is ALL we know and it WORKS. So that is what we do.
You could try to feel the tears. I have never really gotten that far in feeling the tears and we always end up hating them and wanting them to go away. But it will be ok for yous.
Tangled

[The People]

(08-11-2013, 10:18 PM)Tangled Web Wrote: Hi The People. What you write here sounds very familiar to me. There are times we get tears in the eyes when doing something or writing something that are totally unexplained and we stop as soon as they appear. It is almost a shock to us, or something....I never can find the right words to explain it either. When it is something we HAVE to do and it causes tears.....and I am sorry but I don't think is very helpful, but we shut things down somehow and do the task at hand without any emotion at all. I don't think that is a very healthy way to do things, but it is ALL we know and it WORKS. So that is what we do.
You could try to feel the tears. I have never really gotten that far in feeling the tears and we always end up hating them and wanting them to go away. But it will be ok for yous.
Tangled

I do let them come when I am at home. It is when I am out in public and they pop out that I want to run and hide.

[Tangled Web]

We can totally understand that feeling. Maybe you can try telling yourself that you are just being human and it will make it feel better. Sometimes that helps us.
tangled

[Cammy]

Tears where they were absent before is a good sign. It means you are ALLOWING yourself to feel, and that you are feeling what has formally been locked up. It means you're losing some emotional numbness and that is a sign of some kind of healing.