Just got OFF the meds. Now this.

[Cammy]

Last week's four day and night panic and anxiety extravaganza has changed one of my diagnoses from mild/moderate anxiety/panic disorder to severe anxiety/panic disorder. After 22 years on SSRIs I just got off of them five months ago. Now my T is telling me that at this level of anxiety/panic the first line of treatment is definitely meds as in benzodiazepines, possibly for life. Why? Because now the disorder is physiologically entrenched and not likely to be very responsive to just therapy and meditation. Therapy and meditation will help, but only the meds will control and stop it. I am bummed out and most seriously displeased. I thought I had all the psychotropic meds finally behind me, now this. I don't think it ever stops. But I'm going to be realistic about this...I cannot live in a state of perpetual high anxiety and panic (I proved that to myself last week). So, meds it is. Like I've mentioned elsewhere, I'm going to keep working with what I've got and try to move forward. But that still doesn't mean that I don't have to feel peeved off and disappointed by this. Triple Krapola anyway!

[jamdjohnson]

How frustrating. I have a hate love relationship with meds. Been on and off them. Am on them right now. Got some relief from using essential oils and got off 2 antidepressants. Was trying to get off my last one and started really struggling so I just went back up on my dose. It makes it worse when I blame myself and think its about willpower or snapping out of it. But then I remember to be compassionate with myself. It isn't fair to judge my progress with whether I am on or off medication or not. I need it and that is okay. I don't know if this helps or not.... I think I'm just rambling. I guess I'm just saying I understand how you feel and hope you get feeling more stable.

[Cammy]

Hi Jamd. Thanks so much for the post. It made me feel less disappointed with myself and less frustrated with the need for meds. I guess when we are as chaotic as we are inside, things are always bound to need more than just meditation or therapy. In fact, without the meds I wouldn't be able to cope at all. So I'm just going to look upon them as a necessary friend (rather than a necessary evil). It's just reassuring to know that we're not the only one who faces these issues. Thanks so much for sharing. It makes a huge difference to us.

[nats]

agreeing with jamd. if they help you have a better quality of life then that is positive. how strange it would seem not to take an aspirin and suffer with a headache just to show some kind of supposed mental toughness - yet there is sometimes this social attitude about psych meds that people 'shouldn't' need them. it seems like the reason to get off meds is b/c they aren't helpful or are causing harm not just for some nonspecific 'because'.

[Cammy]

Yes nats, there is still definitely a lot of stigma and prejudice and lack of understanding out there when it comes to things psychological. We can only keep trying to educate those that need to care for us and do the best we can that way.

[Elizabethn]

I've been on a low dose of Klonopin for the better part of twenty years for just this purpose. It would be nice to not have to have "brain meds," but I figure hey, better living through chemistry is far preferable to the misery of living without that chemistry!

[Cammy]

You've absolutely got that right. If misery is going to push you off the ledge, the it's not worth it. The meds are there to help so we can at least have some functionality. Doesn't mean I have to be overjoyed at it, but I accept it.