Is CBT a mistake?

[Cammy]

I signed up for an eight week online course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy hoping to find better ways of coping with anxiety (and depression). My psychologist told me that the therapy would not permeate my whole personality system, but I thought that if my host personality could be more stable, that it had to be some bit of a positive thing, right? So now I'm three weeks into the CBT course, and I'm finding it hard to do some of the work...different parts of me have different feelings and experiences. I'm forging ahead, some days easier than others. I'm trying to become more active in terms of exercise, meditation, and lifestyle changes. But I stumble into these weird emotional blocks where I can't access anything, and I know that some of it is because I'm a multiple. Has anyone else ever tried CBT and what was your experience with it? Am I wasting my time, or is it possible for at least a little bit of positive change to happen? In all the years since I was diagnosed with DID, I've never done any formal system of therapy other than get support from my psychologist who specializes in DID and trauma-based disorders. I was sincerely trying to be responsible for myself and try to DO something more for me than just reach for the Lorazepam three times a day when the panic hits.

So, if any of you have had any experience with this form of therapy with your DID, please let me know how it went.

Thank you for your help.

[nats]

hi Igraine,
not sure if this is helpful at all, but we've done a bit of reading/self-help with CBT though not formal treatment as it's not really used longterm over here (UK). The main issue we found is that different people respond differently, which may be why yours are throwing up blocks? could someone be upset/angry or not think the process is helpful? it can be very directive and behavioural, so that does rub some people the wrong way.

[Cammy]

(03-10-2013, 06:38 AM)nats Wrote: hi Igraine,
not sure if this is helpful at all, but we've done a bit of reading/self-help with CBT though not formal treatment as it's not really used longterm over here (UK). The main issue we found is that different people respond differently, which may be why yours are throwing up blocks? could someone be upset/angry or not think the process is helpful? it can be very directive and behavioural, so that does rub some people the wrong way.

Thanks Nats. I'll have to have a "meeting" and see what's what with who. Maybe I can get everyone on board if they realize that it's all good or that they don't have to participate. Thanks again.

[Silent Society]

Hi Ingraine, when i started working with our T, we used CBT because that was primarily what he did and that was before we knew about us being multiple. After learning about the system, we mostly stopped using CBT. I think, over time, I have used aspects of CBT and found them beneficial. For us, however, most of the changes that have occured to increase functioning inside and out have come from learning to listen to the parts and being able to respect their view points. My t always talked about cooperation in the system which I always hated but have found that to be what was the most beneficial. Having said that, I think we never know what may help our systems and I dont see any harm in trying something new. wish you the best!

[Cammy]

(03-10-2013, 08:09 PM)Silent Society Wrote: Hi Ingraine, when i started working with our T, we used CBT because that was primarily what he did and that was before we knew about us being multiple. After learning about the system, we mostly stopped using CBT. I think, over time, I have used aspects of CBT and found them beneficial. For us, however, most of the changes that have occured to increase functioning inside and out have come from learning to listen to the parts and being able to respect their view points. My t always talked about cooperation in the system which I always hated but have found that to be what was the most beneficial. Having said that, I think we never know what may help our systems and I dont see any harm in trying something new. wish you the best!

Thanks so much for sharing your experience and encouragement. You have no idea how helpful this is to me. All these years with DID, and I feel like I'm just starting out all new again. Thanks again.

[orek]

Hi, Igraine, nice to meet you. We've been away for quite a while, it seems. There are regulars we haven't met yet!

This is a very good topic since, in the U.S. anyway, this is such a treatment-of-choice for insurance companies, but it cannot take the place of good, long-term, deep trauma therapy. We've had bad experiences with it in the past, feeling blamed and shamed because we can't just "choose to think" in a more healthy way, etc. So when we started with this current T (almost 8 years now, and one more before her retirement), upfronters made our feelings clear about that approach.

However, just recently we've had an epiphany about the interaction between this type of directed self-talk and trauma therapy. We found a book on running meditations ("Running Home") that really is working for us in trying to send more positive messages inward and opening ourselves up more, and done while running--which works for us since we get anxious sitting still and trying to meditate. Anyway, we can feel and see very positive responses and changes.

But the reason it works is because it's not being forced on us as some kind of band-aid to cover the reality and effects of the past trauma and ongoing dissociation, nor a bat to punish us for not being "good enough" and for having such severe struggles. Instead it's happening organically as we are ready to try to internalize more self-loving, self-nurturing messages. And the reason those messages are ripe for us is that they are growing organically out of long, hard, validating therapy work. We have experienced in a very deep way, through the therapy relationship, what positive nurturing and caring feels and looks like. And not just the upfronters, but deeper insiders. We didn't know just how very deep the shame-based messages went until we started experiencing a different kind of "love" from the toxic love we had internalized from the past.

A good T relationship offers a model for, and unique opportunity for receiving, a consistent, benevolent, nurturing acceptance. As we experienced, then internalized more and more, that type of caring, it began to change us. And recently we finally got to the point where we were ready to try expanding that ourselves without feeling the knee-jerk shame such attempts elicited in us in the past. Also we now have an "opening" deep inside to receive those messages rather than just an old wall of pain and shame deflecting and poisoning them. It's helping upfronters send more supportive messages to insiders and opening up communication some.

Saying all that, it's still not a panacea, and we can see even more clearly how devastating the abuse was now that we are moving forward in a more positive way but can still be deflated and blindsided by the inner turmoil that is the legacy of the trauma. But we're hoping this makes it all more real to us.

Sorry to go on so long, but this is something in the forefront of our thoughts and healing process right now. I hope something in there helps. If not, thanks for listening anyway.

[nats]

hi orek,
great to see you. we missed you guys !

[orek]

(03-14-2013, 05:35 AM)nats Wrote: hi orek,
great to see you. we missed you guys !

Thanks, nats! Great to see you, too. We think of everyone here often. Just haven't been able to drag self to computer these days, except at work where I can't go to personal sites. Just don't seem to have the time or energy. We appreciate the warm greeting.

[Cammy]

For some closure to this thread, "Is CBT a Mistake?"...the answer is that for me YES an absolute disaster. I've detailed the reasons elsewhere. So...over and out.