when to give up on T..?

[orek]

That certainly doesn't make it any easier, nats, I know. And I'm so sorry that you've gone through this process only to have to come to that conclusion instead of being truly helped all this time, but at least you can let yourself off the hook and recognize that you aren't doing anything wrong. Do you have opportunity and option to try someone else? There's no shame in "shopping around," and the right fit with a good solid T who is experienced in trauma therapy is worth the hunt, if you can. do it. Sometimes it's not feasible, financially- and/or accessibility-wise. Or you may not want to try again. And now I'm just rambling, so I'll stop. Take care.