And Kaboom

[The People]

I am curious. When you have a memory pop up what sort of warning do you get? I have had something in my memory that may have just looked innocent for years. Only, over the years I have had many such memories and they all had connectors that I didn't want to remember.

Then there are the types that start with my having a weird dream with one vein of it being very weird. When I wake up I am in a fog until the parts of the dream fit into a picture.

ANd then there is the occasional, walk past something or someone that brings up a memory, complete with the need to vomit.

Today was the first type. It came with a headache caused by a late sleep caused by caffeine needs. I kept busy for a good part of the day. As I biked home tonight I thought of my eldest brother who was in the memory. It is too late for him to ever apologize as he has periods of psychosis. That doesn't stop me from wanting to fly back east and smash his face in. I thought I had let it go!!!?? Heading back to hide in The Castle

[nats]

so sorry People!

[mosaic]

yeah, healing never seems to be "finished"... it's a rotten reality i guess. so sorry it happened, people.

[The People]

Thanks. I remember when I first started this process. My T at the time stated that it was typical for things to pop up when I am relaxed. Otherwise the brain is too busy to let it in. Still goes. Still sucks!

[Cammy]

Unlike me, my husband still has many amnesia barriers, some which span many years. When a rememberance is ready to surface, it starts with a weird dream with him. He wakes up remembering the dream and then he starts pondering it. Usually within about the space of a week, the actual memory surfaces, which usually triggers a switch. Unfortunately, once the memory has leaked into his conscious mind, there's no putting it back. The alter that he switches to is 'unpleasant'. It took a while, but he has found that by discussing the dream and then the actual memory with someone he trusts (me), the process of reducing the emotional impact of the memory and placing it into normal memory storage is now much quicker and far less painful than it used to be for him. i don't know if this helps or is really pertinent in any way, but I hope that it demonstrates that a commonality exists among DID survivors in terms of how rememberances manage to creep to the surface and subsequently end up causing a great deal of emotional upset. For him, having someone to discuss things with and put them into proper perspective helps a great deal.