Anger, loss, shame... throw it all in.

[The People]

Several years ago I had major surgery of the female kind. Was emotionally wounding. Then other catastrophes happened so I never go to deal with it effectively.

But during that time I was alone 95% of the time One friend changed my sheets for the first few weeks until I could do it myself. 2 others promised they would visit but due to their own life happenstance they came to the hospital and that was it.

There is a woman in my building who will be having surgery next month. Her husband had to go away for work so Catherine volunteered us to be there if she needed something. Today she needs something. Originally we were going down anyway (we are miles away down a highway) but now I won't be until tomorrow. She is ever so grateful. Some of us are ever so resentful. we don't want to go. We are tired and... Just tired. But we cannot just leave her as she is pretty helpless on her own and should not go out alone.

But still there is that anger that we will have to swallow when we pick her up. After we walk someone else's f*ck*ng dogs and water their f*ck*ng Christmas tree. Catherine had better come back out. It was her idea.

I feel guilty for having all of this resentment. But it is there. Nobody was there for us but Catherine is always so quick to step forward for others.

Well not nobody. T has been good. And old T and PDoc. Friend was the go between b/t Santa and Two and drove all the way up to deliver it. So then we feel guilty for feeling resentful. I think I will become a hermit. I almost am one now except when people want things. Christmas sucks. Catherine offering to help others when the rest of us just want to stay in bed after walking the dogs sucks. Or instead of walking the dogs. Why can't the one of us who is a total b*tch be front and centre all the time and say no, go away to the whole f*ck*ng world? Because we have alters like Catherine who thinks she is responsible for all of humanity. Must go. Dogs are waiting.

[nats]

it's a rotten feeling isn't it, when some are caring extroverts and others of us aren't. posted something similar on TS about having to sort things out for someone/s who always have to challenge everything and get us in trouble. just tired of how selfish and awful some people can be. ..

[MakersDozn]

We can relate too.

We're sorry it's hard for each of you, and for us.

Mds

[The People]

Update on this fiasco. We are allergic to feathers. Tested positive for it years ago. Friend always put other quilt on and we never noticed that she changed it back for her mother who was visiting. we were back there 2 weekends ago. More rash and more irritation. Thought at Christmas it was the gluten we accidentally ate. But nope, we are allergic to feathers in a bad way.