Loosely quoting from a novel

[The People]

Reading a book of fiction but sometimes words will jump out at me that fit real life.

In this one a woman was talking about her kitten. How someone gave her a squirt gun to spray it every time it scratched the couch. The first time she did it the kitten ran over and jumped on her knee looking for comfort.

She went on to talk about her dysfunctional relationship and how other people do the same thing.

"We turn to the people who hurt us in order to get comfort from them"

This is so true. People struggle to maintain relationships with FOO even though it isn't working. Myself included. Partners seek out each other after physical and/or emotional disasters.

Why? Familiarity I guess. The kitten wouldn't know better. But we humans know that these people we are trying to 're-friend' did a lot of damage to us. All of these years have passed and they haven't changed. Why do I try to re-open the lines of communication with them? This is what I did in 2017.Tried to reconnect with my family. With most of them it didn't work because we have different views on how life in our cracker box house we lived in.

[nats]

interesting, and true from my experience too. most of FOO haven't been positive in my life, yet still periodically feel we should 'make it better' as if somehow wanting would make it so... guess humans aren't actually any smarter than other animals.

[Silent Society]

Maybe it has more to do with the desire for connection and the wish that FOO, our first avenue of connection was able to meet any of that need. We also feel an obligation to reach out and communicate with those that were not able to keep us safe

[just peachy]

hi everyone jp here I agree with all of you ..nats the people and silent society ....I was recently thinking about that same situation with my own family how they ae in such denial of the whole abuse situation that you talked about... I know my family would be the same as the way your family . was the peoples .. I am referring to how when your sister was dying and you got in contact with your family after 25 years .that you had not spoken to them or seen them .and how you mentioned that in all those years they still don't look at or see the family situation the abuse the way that you see it ..I heard on the radio a commercial ..that said we can help you call us today we offer counseling and treatment for your addictions confident and private help ..then the next line surprised me which said please don't stay living in denial it has a bad effect on all of your family not just you....I wish I had that kind of help when I was growing up ..that sure would have helpe me ..just peachy

[The People]

For me it is as if they are all the same age as they were when I slammed the door shut on them. I cannot even remember how old I am sometimes.(well how old body is). And I need to peek through the keyhole to see if anything has changed. After all. on TV family is all about forgiveness. My FOO tends to stick a dirty finger back through and into my eye.

[Collectively US]

I agree on everything said about our FOO. Its never easy for me to be around them but I do try and I find it funny that most love me, some are indifferent, others well you know. I too am better off with some family just not existing for me or my alters. For me its not just about connection its about blood and trying see if there is changes and for some reason needing that connection.i dont know it pains us and causes many things, but still its a compulsion. And I am not some science experiment and have them be all happy to meet my alters..

[The People]

We connected with eldest sister at Christmas. we were doing so well until one of us flipped out and she went away. she never hurtus and she was verygood to us when we were little. when we were texting she called us her little girl (back in the day) now she doesn't speak to us. Too hard.