Who keeps things in order

[The People]

Our system did a wonderful job revealing things to us only when we were ready to deal with them and is a huge part of the reason why we are as functional as we are today.
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This is the start of new topic that popped into my head as Frayaspirit ended another one.

Reminded me of our system. We have one person only - well an angel - who seems to control that gate between the inner and outer world. He controls a lot of things inside too and takes some who can no longer cope under his wing. others have important role with helping people guide those in the inner world when they cannot seem to cope, need to stay inside.

Do other people have one self or many that control the gate or whatever else separates the inside fro outside world.

[FreyasSpirit]

This is interesting and something we had never considered. We have had a few instances where under extreme stress, someone vanishes for a short while (up to a few days). The time it happened for a few days, our known system size was a tiny fraction of what it is now so the system was acting on its own to protect itself. If we did have someone like this, it would provide a clear mechanism for how that happened. It could also provide a way to explore new parts of our system, the parts which we are not currently aware of which do not or cannot interact with the outside world.

So no, we are not currently aware of someone like this, but the idea intrigues us which is often a sign that there is something quite substantial in the idea. Thank you for sharing this.

[WeAreKaren]

Good question, The People. Gosh, I think most of my parts participate in that function. Of course, I am poly fragmented, so that could be a reason for the large numbers. I think the closest thing to what you are asking is that there is a "subset" ("subcommittee"?) of my co-communicating parts that have worked together for a long time, long before the end of 2014, when the Host became aware they were part of a system. My three managers, Eve, Jane and Ken; Angie (full name Laurie Angelique); Orientation Girl; and several other parts (the list is long so I'm just arbitrarily cutting it off here) established The Cooperative and worked together to organize my system. I have learned that the safe place that I call the Inner Circle existed by the time I was 4 years old. It is a place where kids and anyone of any age who needs to feel protected can go. So that's one way that parts are "kept separate" from the outside. Who would want to go outside when they have a wonderful mountain valley with trees, grass, horses, dogs, cats, etc.? Sometimes it is used to temporarily "contain" parts who are causing issues, either unintentionally or otherwise. But I am very big on free will and cooperation. Overall I think of my system as "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood" (sometimes referred to as "The Karen Collective"). Our general theme and motto is that everyone helps everyone else.

Another reason I believe I have been so successful over the years (no addictions, no hospitalizations, etc.) is that my memories remained completely buried behind what I call a "memory wall" for decades. Once that wall was "broken open" by a sudden, cruel breakup  of a 16-year relationship, my parts worked hard to keep my exposure to the memories very slow. In fact, the first 13 months of my therapy I was able to focus almost exclusively on healing from my breakup, learning about DID and my system, and establishing co-communication between the Hosts and other parts. The last 2 months, now that I'm strong enough, I have been processing a lot of memories. But all my parts have been cooperating to reduce the intensity and impact of those memories. We have been getting better and better at it as we learn what works.

I find an interesting parallel with your angel part in that Angie - my devil/angel part - is the one who "appeared" to the Host in many ways over the years to determine whether they were ready to learn the truth. She took her name from Angelique of the Dark Shadows TV show. That's why I call her a devil/angel part. Angelique was an "evil" witch who in the end became "good." Angie's theme song is Libby Roderick's "Listen to a Devil". The first verse starts "Listen to a devil when she's speaking to you. She may be an angel in disguise."

However, Angie is not the only part who "mediates" between the inside and outside worlds. My managers (Eve, Jane, and Ken) also take that role. Although they do tend to stay in the background and work through the Host. And then, of course, there's Orientation Girl, without whom I would quite literally be lost. I have Vestibular Discrimination Disorder (one of the disorders under the SPD umbrella), which means I have no sense of direction. Instead, I navigate through the world by using visual cues that are "compared against" an internal visual map that OG and her helpers build bit by bit as I learn my way around anyplace new. She's also very important as a gateway. She makes sure that parts that hold certain of my SPD symptoms do not "pop out," (usually accidentally) and if they do, she quickly gets them back inside. Wow. That last part about OG being a gateway is new information I just learned as I typed. Writing is so helpful for me to learn about my system. Thanks for starting this thread, The People!

I almost forgot to say: Some time during 2015, the Hosts officially became part of The Cooperative and are now the main "gatekeepers." (Sorry it's this long. I tried to keep it short but it's hard when I have so many, many parts.) Karen

[The People]

HEY! I am going to look up Vestibular Discrimination Disorder. I have no sense of direction at all. Even with a GPS I struggle. For a time I thought I was dyslexic but don't meet most of the criteria.

We are poly-fragmented as well. Two says we have 102 but she isn't great with numbers. She knows a lot of what goes on in there however.


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WOW! Found a good sight. Going to discuss it with my doctor. So many things are attributed to the DID and sometimes there are other issues involved.

[nats]

interesting thread! we're poly-fragmented also. however, for us T never addressed core issues and those of us in front have minimal day-to-day conscious awareness of gatekeeping or internal issues. i can't go inside, though back when things were more chaotic i could see inside when others wanted me to.

[WeAreKaren]

The People, Did you see my post under Coping with Noise, where I gave a website that I found called spdlife.org? It's a site aimed at adults with SPD. If you didn't already find that one, I recommend it. I found the best starter page to be SPD Information, which has three tabs - SPD Information, Symptoms, and Impact on the Senses - all with very useful information. After reading the intro, I found the details in Impact on the Senses to be quite helpful for getting an idea of which "flavors" of SPD I have.

I'm guessing from your post Coping with Noise, that you at least also have Auditory Defensiveness and Tactile Defensiveness. I wouldn't be surprised if you also have Visual Defensiveness, since the three seem to go together. SPD, by the way, stands for Sensory Processing Disorder, which is the "umbrella" term for what is a collection of sensory disorders caused by a "miswiring" of the brain.

Karen

[The People]

I do have the visual stuff. I mentioned somewhere else about having n sense of direction, just like you. None. Totally rely on landmarks. If I have to take a side route due to accident or road work I am a mess. There were a lot of times when we first moved to the city when we would sit and cry because we had no clue where we were. Still happens occasionally. And getting lost causes a lot of panic.

Curious as to whether your doctor thinks there is correlation b/t DID and that other thing? Trauma rewires the brain for sure.

[FreyasSpirit]

One of our current models is that a variety of other things like SPD and autism and being trans can put people in a state where their baseline stress level is higher. As a result, these people are able to handle less additional stress and the required amount of stress for trauma is lower. The end result is having a bunch of other conditions can make levels of functioning which are expected of neurotypicals and considered "normal" traumatic to try and maintain. Under this model, every way that you are different from what others expect places additional continuous load on you and as a result, increases the likelihood that outside events will be traumatic.

(we don't feel particularly coherent while writing this so if you are having trouble understanding this, we probably didn't write it clearly enough and can rewrite it later when words come more easily)

[The People]

I get what you mean. If one has other coexisting conditions the likelihood that trauma impacts you more than others is greater.

[WeAreKaren]

FreyasSpirit, Your post made sense to me. ThePeople re-summarized it well.

The People, My therapist is the one who told me about SPD. (I don't see a psychiatrist.) She says that many of her clients who have DID also have SPD. It is such an unknown condition - despite how common it is -that there hasn't been much in the way of studies done as far as I know. The SPD Life website I told you about and the book I'm reading seem to be the best "launching points" for scientifically-oriented information about SPD in adults. There are lots of websites centered around SPD in children. But despite that, most parents, teachers, and doctors are still very much unaware of it.

My therapist isn't sure whether SPD makes you more likely to develop DID, or whether trauma causes both. The author of the Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight book theorizes that some are born with it, and trauma can cause it for others. I suspect she is correct. I believe I was born with it, but probably not everyone is. Most recently I've speculated that the fragmentation of the senses and extreme emotional sensitivity that are hallmarks of SPD combined with the number of abusers and duration of the various abuses (I've remembered about all immediate family members (5), 2 extended family, and 2 non-family at this point and have "warnings" of 2-3 more extended family to come, starting at < 2 years old and ending when I graduated HS at 17) may be the reason I am poly fragmented.
Karen

[The People]

So is there testing for it other than the questionnaire? I think I saw something about a brain scan somewhere.

[The People]

MY Pdoc is for meds, ED and anxiety. She has no knowledge of DID except for what we taught her. The T helps me with most of the DID work - aside from what we do on our own

[MakersDozn]

Not able to read the rest of the thread yet, although we intend to later. If you're talking about gatekeepers, the closest in our system would be ~Light~ and Gideon, who are a formless yin/yang that we see as our higher self. They don't intervene in daily affairs, but they do act on a meta-level if necessary.

People who can't cope just go inside. I have a long history of doing this, which is why our system is such a mess at times.

Charity

PS: As ~Light~ and Gideon are two members of our system, they would constitute 4.25 percent of the system population.

MD math geeks

[WeAreKaren]

The People, I'm not aware of a brain scan but maybe you found something somewhere. The best I know is that it can help to go to an Occupational Therapist who is a Sensory Integration and Processing Therapist. They have various tests they can do to determine what all your issues are, and then they can recommend a customized Sensory Diet for you based on that. (A Sensory Diet has nothing to do with food, it involves regularly doing things like brushing yourself all over, or wrapping yourself in a heavy blanket like Kate. The SPD Life website explains what an SD is.) The catch is that no insurance company will cover it so it's total out of pocket and expensive. Oh wait - you're in Canada. Lucky you. You probably are covered. I'll tell you, if I weren't middle-aged and majorly invested in Social Security and such, I'd seriously consider moving to Canada.
Karen