Thanks
Ok i'm not sure how to get into this =)
I came across the term of dissociative disorder related to heavy stress or trauma, or linked to cult practice some years ago, actually it was a forum about indigo children, but the forum has been mislead by a whole clique of people, and some activity that were going on beside the forum with some members including moderators was really bad, and there are several people who was been around there who ended in bad psychological conditions, and we have been a whole core of people to notice this trend on there, how there was plenty of bad psychological advice and confusing things told to people who were often young and disoriented, and how many of them ended in very messed up stuff, under psychiatric care etc and i started to look into vulnerability of some people to cult tactics or manipulation like this that play a lot of emotional level as well, which is when i came around the term of dissociative disorder.
I think i have strong tendency toward dissociation since i'm a child, in the sense having feeling of being elsewhere, entering easily trance-like state, having confused memories about some events, it happened to me in some circumstance to have plain black out of things i've been told of doing, for eg when i was child a guy i knew told me he wanted something with another person, and apparently he ended beating him up pretty badly in my presence, but i couldn't remember a single thing, it was so weird, like really feeling of black out, and that people are speaking of another reality, like i will wake up and everybody will stop speaking about this, but we have been punished for this etc, so apparently it did happen. I just could remember any of it at all no matter how hard i could it's just like this time vanished from my memory entierely.
Well there are many example of where i can relate to many of the symptoms of disociative disorder, i don't know if it's related but i can have also tendency to be active in several different group of person who can be completly unrelated, like for sometime i was in the same time invovled in a technology company, some activity related with demoscene/cracking scene, and sound system - free parties, and other hang outs there and there, and all these are very different world with different people and different perspectives, different group of people who seldom meet at all together, and i'm not sure i'm very confortable with saying i'm really the same person in all those different kind of environment, well i think many people would be surprised to know some part of me that i have in other domain or in general i can easily shape a personality that will not be shocking for a person like a composite and i'm sort of used to compartimentalize my life pretty sharpy between different kind of activity and different group of people.
Many times teachers at school would want to catch me not paying attention, but i'm usually able to repeat last few sentence or grasp a general idea of the course even if i look i'm elsewhere or drawing things on my notebook, all my notebooks are covered with dribbles and stuff, even some exams papers, or i was inventing lot of subterfuges to kill time in my mind at school, and i didn't have good contact with people in my school at all, as it was catholic school and i was the only one not being catholic, and people there have quite a culture of alcohol and fighting and racism and i was the only person not of the place in the whole school i think, can say i was quite isolated, and often been in fights there, i ended with cranian traumatism at 8 year old, and been put to a psy and suscribed to judo course, because i was getting constantly into fight there.
Well many people think of me i can't handle normal discussion or that i'm sort of autistic or associal lol
Well i have read some of the resource given on the website, i'm not sure about mpd things totally, i never been diagnosed with anything particular when i was with the psy we were mostly doing dream analysis because i was doing lot of nightmare, and night terror even very young, but i think i had these dissociative tendencies actually very young, as a way to detach myself from some potentially threatening environement.
Well there could be much more to say about this, i'm not sure what i expect by posting this here, if it ring a bell with someone, well i have been reading some of the resource on this site and others, i'm not sure what to think about this.
But i can be entering very easily trance like state, that can also create very bad feeling or negative thoughts, or sort of flash back or bad dreams, or globally mental confusion, need to be isolated for sometime, or like total detachement of some situation or emotional culling, they are things that can ring a bell with me.
Well i guess i'm after general serious information about what dissociative disorders are about, and what to do about it, and how to know if i'm affected by this, which i'm pretty sure of because many descriptions matches, but i'm not sure if there are specific things that should be done about it.
I think also some things naturally draw me toward people who have same profile of the only thing i can see in common as it's expression are symptoms of dissociations which include lot of weird things regarding suggrestibility, or sharp change of personality in certain context, well it's many general question i would have on this disorder.
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