Devastated

[Silent Society]

Hi all. I have been struggling with deciding where to put this. Seems like this may be an ok place to write it.
My therapist is dying. He was diagnosed with lung cancer two years ago. He had treatment at that time, had part of his lung removed and was doing well. In remission. The cancer has come back on the only lung he has left.. The doctor has told him he had between six months and a year and a half to live. I am devestated.
I have been meeting with him for over 12 years now. I am aware of my system because of him. I am still alive because of him. How does one come to grips with something like this?
He started chemo this past week. The thought is that with the chemo, they will be able to shrink the cancer and he will have more time. The hope is that we will be able to meet again after the chemo is done until he is no longer able to do that anymore.
I have a new T that I started meeting with again this week. I met with her while my T was in treatment the first time. She understands DID and my T thinks that she can help us do the work that we need to do.
Still, I am a wreck. All of the ones in the system know our current T and want to work with him. I am holding on to the thought that we will be able to meet again when he is done with this course of treatment and that will be good, but the reality is that he is dying. He will be gone. Trying to hang on to the fact that he is still here now and that we can still text and call him at times, but what do we do when he is gone. Very sad. Feeling alone. Angry that this is happening. Just could use some support.

[MakersDozn]

We're so sorry, Silent Society.

Sending you supportive thoughts.

MDs

[The People]

My thoughts. I think that losing a T in this way would be like losing a beloved parent in the same way. You had a better bond with him, felt more cared for, grew stronger with his help...

I encourage that you continue with new T to work through this but if they think it is appropriate you make special times to spend worth old T. For closure just like a T who is moving away but also to say goodbye as one would do with positive FMs or close friends. No it is not exactly the same but it is important to be able to say goodbye. Sorry for you. It is hard enough to say goodbye when one of you leaves. I have never lost a T in this way. Perhaps discuss it with old T while there is still time. How to close things off. How to say goodbye. Goodbyes are important when the person is so important. @---------------->- If you are a poet or do any special work perhaps your inner family could do something for him. Express what the relationship meant to you.

[Tangled Web]

We are so sorry for your loss. We can't imagine how difficult this must be. I agree with people's suggestions. I think she has some really good ideas. Our thoughts are with you all
TW

[mosaic]

what a devastating scenario you face. we are so sorry. agree with the people on ideas of what to do, knowing that nothing is going to make it "okay".

sending you supportive thoughts.

[orek]

Oh man. We just lost our T of 9 years to retirement in August, and that was hard enough. Still is. But we know she's still "out there" and that we can contact her via email--as long as it doesn't interfere with connecting and bonding with our new T. I can't imagine the devastating ripple effect if we lost her to cancer instead. I am so so sorry.

I like the poem suggestion, if you have any writers and find comfort in that. When we lost our sister, we spent a whole year obsessively working on a poem for her. It helped siphon off some of the enormous grief so that we could function. I'm glad you have another T that you are somewhat familiar with and that gets DID--and, even more importantly, that your old T has confidence in for furthering your healing.

Take gentle care. I hope you all find ways to comfort and support each other during this awful loss.

[The People]

My friend also lost a sister and for a year she kept a journal where she wrote a letter to her every day. It was very helpful to her as others were lost as well - accident.

[Silent Society]

Hi all. I have appreciated all of your support and ideas. Thank you. Am feeling numb today. Tomorrow is Tuesday, the day I have typically met with T. Tommorrw will be the first Tuesday in a very long time that we will not meet. It seems to me there should be a limit to the amount of sorrow one can take. Thank you again for the support. This is the only place we can go and be honest other than with T. This place is very important as are all of you.

[orek]

Still sitting with you. Hope you did okay today.--orek

[The People]

I agree with you that there should be limits but even if we shut out the world pain is ever fluid. We go to T so we can learn to manage it. You can manage this because old T will leave you with memories of how to stay strong. I hope you find your own ways to honour him. And yes we do understand. Take good care of you all.