things are just blah

[Tangled Web]

Things have been at a stand still for me for awhile now. I don't know how to get back into things. I threw myself into work and distanced myself from the others inside. Now when I try to look inside all I see is nothing. I really don't know where to go from here. Things aren't bad in my life, actually I don't feel much of anything anymore. I have tried to come up with ideas on how to move on from this but I can't put anything into motion. Don't know what to do.
Thanks for listening

[mosaic]

i've distanced myself from others inside before... think that's what's going on with me now.

sitting with you and listening.

[angel with wings]

Definitely understand this feeling. Your not alone.

[nats]

it happens. for us, people get bored of daily non-crisis outside life and disappear inside for extended periods.

[MakersDozn]

(08-10-2014, 04:19 AM)nats Wrote: it happens. for us, people get bored of daily non-crisis outside life and disappear inside for extended periods.

Yes. After all, we created our inner world because we didn't like the outside one. We wish we could just stay inside. But the insight that comes from healing makes it difficult to stay inside, because we're so much more aware of the realities outside. Bleh.

Laura and others

[Tangled Web]

Some days I just wish I could feel something other than just existing in this world. I wish I could feel connected to the feelings, actually I wish I could feel connected to anything right about now. But then when I do start to feel something the defenses kick in and work overtime to make things safe again. I just can't win. How can someone have so much control over things and then still feel powerless?

[MakersDozn]

We've come to the conclusion that control isn't really possible, or even desirable, in most circumstances. Control is what our abusers tried to exert over us, and what people in power often try to exert over other people.

What we see as preferable, and more attainable, is empowerment. The difference is that unlike control, empowerment doesn't depend on our domination of people, places and things. Empowerment is recognizing our own strengths and opportunities and using them effectively to better our quality of life.

That being said, we still struggle with issues of control and with a lot of the feelings that you describe. It's easy for us as survivors to feel disempowered based on our past experience, even if new opportunities now exist for us to empower ourselves. And it's difficult to process the feelings and experiences from the past that keep us from moving forward.

Hoping that we both/all find what we need to continue healing.

MDs

[nats]

nicely said MDs

[MakersDozn]

Thank you! I realized it was me after I posted it.

Mary

[angel with wings]

(08-10-2014, 08:03 PM)MakersDozn Wrote: We've come to the conclusion that control isn't really possible, or even desirable, in most circumstances. Control is what our abusers tried to exert over us, and what people in power often try to exert over other people.

What we see as preferable, and more attainable, is empowerment. The difference is that unlike control, empowerment doesn't depend on our domination of people, places and things. Empowerment is recognizing our own strengths and opportunities and using them effectively to better our quality of life.

That being said, we still struggle with issues of control and with a lot of the feelings that you describe. It's easy for us as survivors to feel disempowered based on our past experience, even if new opportunities now exist for us to empower ourselves. And it's difficult to process the feelings and experiences from the past that keep us from moving forward.

Hoping that we both/all find what we need to continue healing.

MDs

well said.