Feeling alone

[dragonfairy]

How does anyone else deal with the feelings of being alone and isolated? I can't relate to anyone else because they are nothing like me. None of them have experienced anything like me. And no one understands why I am the way I am. My adoptive mom is the only one that even knows I am DID and even then I find it hard to reach out to her as I am afraid of how it may impact our relationship. She is the only kind person I have had in my life for many years. I don't like to leave my house, I don't have but a select few friends and even those I don't see often, I do not relate to any of my family nor do I want to as they helped to "create" who I am today. I feel so alone and afraid all the time with no on to turn to. My "T" has been with me since I was 14 and I am now 37 so I am lucky but at the same time she is still what she is and I can only open up so much to her. I don't sleep, I have no appitite, emotions are all over the board 24/7, I isolate as much as possible. Is any of this "normal" for anyone else. I try to much to move forward and do better but it's like one step forward to ever 10 steps backwards. Struggle today to just stay grounded and feel safe from the outside world as well as myself.

[Cammy]

Isolation seems to be the one huge thing that we all have in common. I have been thus since a small child. I am 56 and am still isolated. Ive reached out over and over again through the decades, but I can't make real connection. It must be because we are so different that we are left in this state of aloneness. If you read through the posts here, isolation is a constantly recurring theme. I always wondered what would happen if forty or fifty of us were physically in a room together all knowing what we were...would we still feel isolated at that moment? Or is it something deeper that even isolates us from ourselves? I don't know (but I'd love to try the DID gathering just once for the feeling of the experience, or see if it matters at all).

As for what you continue to go through you have my support. I know this is not an easy path we are being made to follow. All we can do is hold on, stay safe, and do what we feel is best for us at any given time. Your fortunate to have such a long term good relationship with your T...it must be a positive support for you. If you can, try to trust her even a little more...it may open up things a bit more for you.

My best wishes.

[dragonfairy]

(03-23-2013, 12:58 AM)Igraine Wrote: Isolation seems to be the one huge thing that we all have in common. I have been thus since a small child. I am 56 and am still isolated. Ive reached out over and over again through the decades, but I can't make real connection. It must be because we are so different that we are left in this state of aloneness. If you read through the posts here, isolation is a constantly recurring theme. I always wondered what would happen if forty or fifty of us were physically in a room together all knowing what we were...would we still feel isolated at that moment? Or is it something deeper that even isolates us from ourselves? I don't know (but I'd love to try the DID gathering just once for the feeling of the experience, or see if it matters at all).

As for what you continue to go through you have my support. I know this is not an easy path we are being made to follow. All we can do is hold on, stay safe, and do what we feel is best for us at any given time. Your fortunate to have such a long term good relationship with your T...it must be a positive support for you. If you can, try to trust her even a little more...it may open up things a bit more for you.

My best wishes.

Had a friend a few years ago that was just like us and has been the only one I have ever had. We were friends for almost 3 years and everyone was allowed to be themselves when they were in the house together. Was the only time in our lives that we were allowed to be who we really are. Was hard when the friendship broke up. Sometimes I think that we isolate because of the fear of what everyone else thinks of us and how they will treat us. I do my best to trust my T and yes we do have a good relationship. We have been seeing her on and off like we said since we were 14. She is the biggest support that we have. Thank you for responding as we are not really sure where we fit in yet. Haven't really talked to anyone in here and kinda feel out of place. Just want somewhere to feel like we fit in even just a little!!

[The People]

Trust and love are big issues for multies. As you move along you will see other people post the same issues.

Over the past few years my life has changed a lot. Due to health issues I had to leave work. This has given me the freedom to work on issues but I miss the day to day interaction with others. I do some volunteer work and have gotten involved with some other things. I have lived in this city for about 7 years and have trouble making friends. It is hard. However, I push myself to do things even if i have to do them alone. Like going to movies and last night I went to listen to live music by people I know. This is what works for me. I feel a similar loneliness that you feel and I think that much of this comes from the dark times when we always felt that there was nobody out to rescue us.

[MakersDozn]

dragonfairy,

We identify with the feelings you mentioned here. We started a thread about isolation and trust over on the Therapy Lane board. And we've probably talked about it in other threads there as well.

Sending you good thoughts.

MDs