So frustrated & angry because I've regressed

[Cammy]

I've been under a lot of stress of late - pretty much overwhelmed. This environmental pressure has made my DID regress to a place where it was decades ago. I am doing things I thought were well in my past and forgotten. New amnesia barriers are back, for one, and I am discovering stuff I've done that I have no memory of. I've texted people without my knowledge, and they're getting back to me with these bizarre texts that I look at like I think that THEY are from outer space. So, here I thought I had made so much progress with the DID, and then out of the blue all of the old issues are back again. I guess it just goes to show that once a DID, then always a DID. I am so frustrated and feel like I'm out of control. It scares me what I might be up to behind my back. I know that sounds crazy, but probably not so much to the people here who share this disorder/coping mechanism with me. I am just thankful that I have a place to come where I AM understood. I can't think of a single place anywhere else where this could be possible. Thank you MM!!

[nats]

it's pretty normal for others to get more active when life gets particularly crazy and overwhelming - that's what they were created for after all. starting to think that the main purpose of T and healing is to stabilise our lives sufficiently so that most insiders can hibernate and have nothing to do with the outside life. when things get rough, people reappear who are accustomed to dealing with the roughness... it's a theory anyway. go easy on yourselves. it sounds like you have a lot going on.

[Cammy]

You are SO right nats. It's not just your theory, but it is correct information - when things hit the wall in our outside lives, the personas created to deal with those situations naturally re-emerge. It is the whole idea. Thank you for your reassurances and I very much appreciate that you took the time to respond. Thanks.

[nats]

yes, not regression but appropriate adaptation. it just has some features that can be frustrating

[Cammy]

I have always regarded this extraordinary coping mechanism as something valuable to possess. As much as multiplicity has its challenges, I could not nor would not give it up through integration. I think that integration is more appropriate for those who have reached a place in their lives where major trauma is not an ongoing factor, and of course, a very personal choice. What you call "appropriate adaptation" is an apt description of the basic activity of pure survival. Frustrating? Yes, absolutely, but in my case and for many here, it is a necessity for us. I raise my glass in a toast to survival and adaptation. Thanks for your wise words nats!