critical voice

[canucklady1971]

have this inner critical voice just won't let up, used to be able to block it out. it is upsetting younger parts. almost like it is sabotaging all progress have made in therapy.

not sure what to do

[The People]

Hello Canucklady from fellow country woman. Not sure if we have met before. I live in the west. We have a couple of those critical voices. I think they are common. One of them has backed off a lot over the past few years. Which is good because she made us grumpy and hard to be around. We have others as well though. One in particular deals with the ED and apparently this is quite common. Only she is a full being. When we have lost control she comes out the most. She is an older woman and lets us know when we have eaten too much. According to her. Even if we are still hungry.

I think many people have a critical voice to some degree. Even monominds with low self esteem. Like that little voice people joke about.

Have you tried anything in T or on your own to get her to talk about herself? Asking her why she is so negative? When I am negative it is usually because I am afraid or whatever. Some people have used journals where they invite a particular self to write. Some people here talk about writing a question, leaving it and coming back to find it answered. Some alters like to draw. Good luck with it. The negative voice is a hard one but I have found that with time it can be overcome. Especially if you acknowledge it but do what you were planning anyway.

[canucklady1971]

Keep hearing that t cannot be trusted and we will be hurt if we keep trusting her and if we dont go back to work will end up homeless on the street

[orek]

Good to see you again, canucklady. How scary, what she's telling you! I think the People are onto something with that. It sounds reasonable that fear is motivating the critic, so I wonder what's behind the critic's fear? Fear of being hurt and/or homeless, of course, but why now? Maybe there has been an increase in intimacy in therapy, and that's scary to the critic--or the opposite, a perceived slight or inevitable misunderstanding that the critic is reading as pending abandonment? Or maybe you all have made a certain positive step forward in your healing, which is making the critic afraid of things changing, or of not being needed, or... fill in the blank with what might fit your situation? Behind most of the inner "bullies" or critical voices, there often is just a scared child trying desperately not to be hurt again. Maybe that's the case with your critic, and, if so, maybe s/he will respond to some reassurances by adults in the system that therapy is good, and you all aren't helpless, trapped, or powerless in the relationship? I'm just spit-balling here because I don't know your particulars, of course, but I hope you can reach out to the critic and learn her motivation so maybe you can work with her/him to find another, more productive way to protect the system.

[The People]

We never trusted anyone since we were little. Wen we went into T we shut down completely as the "don't tell" messages was driven into us so often we were terrified. It took year before we could talk about the weather.

When truths started coming out some of the teens would act up and stop going or give T a hard time. It was all out of fear. Even now when there are new memories coming there will be acts of defiance. I know that in some ways it is different than being bossed around but in a way it is not. Someone else is taking charge and trying to ensure that no secrets are told. Or that nobody new comes out. They thought bad things could happen. But we are still here. But we too fear that homeless on the street will be the way we end up too.

[The People]

Just after we read this we realized something. That our critical voice, well one of hem anyway, is so much like the father. Calls us bad names and tells us how stupid we are when we make a mistake. The voice was ranting and we realized it was using the father's words.

[Tangled Web]

We also have a voice/person inside that is almost identical to the mother........it is hard.