What could you have achieved?

[The People]

I think back on my life and all of the bad choices that I made because of that ugly past. There are so many things that I could have improved in was life in general. Better marks, more highlights... However, while I may not have been an Olympian I could have done well at swimming and running. I have thighs that usually fully muscular. Now they are old lady saggy. But imagine if my mother hadn't mocked them! Imagine if I didn't go into fight or flight mode when my adrenalin took off.

I would have published books instead of projects sitting half-finished on my shelf and in my computer.

I might even have had a best friend.

[phoenix22]

I think this is what maybe haunts me too...am not usually given to "what ifs " but agree with you that so much of my early experiences impacted my later choices in life.
Know in many ways this is a kind of futile thought but can't help thinking it from time to time. For me its another reason to hate those dark creatures of my past.