Do alters create "identities" on Twitter

[KoalaGirl]

Is it a known thing for alters to create Twitter accounts for themselves and use them as a place to sort of express themselves as independent selves? If a person with DID was undiagnosed, could this be more pronounced? I was just wondering if this was a common way for alters to express themselves: finding a picture of someone that looks like how they see themselves, maybe tweaking the appearance digitally to make it more like how they see themselves, maintaining a place to share their "own" lives, circumstances, experiences?

There are a couple of people I interact with on Twitter that I have reason to believe may be my BF's alters, but I can't be sure. (There is a *lot* of circumstantial evidence, both technical and otherwise). The two biggest obstacles to confirming this are that my BF has not been diagnosed and Twitter is so anonymous. Even if they are his alters, I am fine maintaining friendships with them individually. It's just hard manage a balance between making sure I am not being targeted by bad people and making sure I don't give an alter a breakdown if I question the authenticity of the story & photos they're sending. And they always seem to send them proactively and without my requesting. A handful of them have obviously taken a couple of photos of *someone* and photoshopped them.

[Cammy]

I personally have never done this nor considered it. I have one personality that interphases with the outside world and it is deliberately consistent. People with DID generally do NOT want to attract attention to themselves and will generally avoid situations that could possibly pull attention to themselves. I think it is more likely for trolls and phishers to have multiple accounts on the internet than for people with DID. Just my opinion and observation, but I have generally found this to be true.

[KoalaGirl]

That's just it - I don't think it's someone trying to get attention. I think it's someone who thinks they're a "real" person, a separate, independent entity. But a lot of compelling evidence supports that Tex is the one behind the accounts.

If I'm wrong about how DID manifests, I apologize. I have done a lot of research - reading reputable journals and materials from organizations like ISSTD; books by highly-educated, accomplished people who have DID; & blogs by people who have DID. But obviously I'm not an expert.

I just wonder, if he has it but hasn't been diagnosed or hasn't accepted it, could the alters be living their own "lives" without him having any awareness of their existence? These suspects are very distinct people, & I would not have thought twice about them being so, except a tipping-point level of circumstantial evidence. Then I began analyzing it from a technical standpoint (I do that kind of investigational, digital forensics for a living, so it's a semi-professional opinion), & I was actually surprised how consistent it was. (And after he admitted to 3 additional accounts, the data revolving around those accounts floored me even further.)

And over and over, he would duck out of chats without warning, & suddenly a flurry of messages would come up from clusters of the same "suspects". I chatted with him for an hour + once & coincidentally had a second computer open & had left twitter alerts on. It happened consistently for that entire hour +. It has also happened with DMs. He'll duck out & a friend suddenly pops in to check on me. At that exact moment. [Oh! And they're all up at weird hours - like he usually is - no matter where they say they live.]

Most telling - the times I saw him in person & had eyes on him & know he was not on any device, several suspects were dead quiet. I have little doubt he's behind the accounts. Before I suspected DID, I was afraid he was playing some mind game. But of the suspects I've spoken to in DM (some contacted me; some I contacted because I thought they were him & I wanted to test them), their individuality is water tight. There has never been a "slip". There can't be any way someone could keep that kind of compartmentation without, well, being compartmented.

There's a chance it's some kind of virtual ventriloquist-dummy outlet for his anger/sub- or semi-conscious socially-unacceptable outbursts. That's what I thought at first. But again, there's no "oops, I forgot what character I was" moment.

What *has* happened is odd bits of what seems like vague co-consciousness. Coincidences in preferences, jobs, experiences (how many gifted-creative-writer cops can one girl happen to bump into? Ok, two isn't a lot, but still.) Some seemed to be sort of fuzzy about their details, but once they recollected them, they never deviated from their stories. And they often chat at such rapid-fire back and forth speed, there's no way they could stop to consult a "script".

Also telling - many of them have come to my "rescue" after Tex had a meltdown on me. One I hadn't talked to in nearly 6 months, & she sent me an email out of the blue, almost hysterically apologetic, saying she was so sorry she had disappeared on me & left me to deal with the Tex situation -- within 5 hours of a particularly egregious mean outburst by Tex that took place entirely in private.

And yes, both Tex and I spend way too much time on Twitter.

[The People]

Do you mean MM? We came with our name. It was obviously developed when we were very young and the root (original) person had no words to explain us.

[KoalaGirl]

I'm such a newbie...& a little slow on the uptake sometimes. It took me like 20 mins to figure out who MM was, but you mean Mosaic Minds? Sorry. I'm still learning to navigate here.

As far as I know, Tex is not here on this site. The suspected alters are only on Twitter. Also, I'm trying not to give away too much personally identifying info about him, so my posts may be extra confusing.

The odd thing about all this is that the more I feel like this disorder is anything but bizarre (& I've told Tex that I believe having DID is a sign of strength, not weakness; a method of maintaining sanity, not a sign of having lost it), the more he acts like it's the most outlandish explanation for what's going on.

And the more he gets indignant & says nothing's wrong & I'm just trying to portray him as "sick" & "weak", the more ridiculous & obvious it seems because I have volumes of chats where he himself says he's "broken", "fractured", "evil", etc (to which I have *always* said "that's not true".)

Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind. I start to worry that he's just messing with my head, though he has nothing to gain by that. He would literally rather I think he's a serial killer or a drug dealer than that he has DID.

But every time I've given up & let him push me away, & it's obvious that I'm withdrawing, I'll suddenly be engaged by strange, random people who might as well be sending me messages on neon signs that say "Hey, Koala! I'm part of Tex's system, but he doesn't know it! I'm hoping you can tell him about us & make him believe it!"

Seriously, the last time this happened, it was so undeniably in-your-face that I called him up after not talking to him for at least a month & asked him, "are you messing with me?"

It really is to the point that I have to believe it's him, & the only question is whether he is aware of it or not. If he is aware, he has yet to show any motivation in nearly 2 years for just messing with me.

[nats]

hi KG, agreed that your guy may be multiple. there's no way of telling though without a formal diagnosis. he may have a mental illness or simply be messing with you.

as for different alters having different twitter or other IDs, there's no reason why not. back in the day on MM, before we had identifiable usernames, people would sometimes post without identifying which system they were with. so it could potentially happen on other sites. however, bottom line for any multiple is system responsibility - if someone does something the whole system is responsible even if they didn't know about what happened.

so if your guy is multiple and his people are acting out, then he is still just as responsible as any of the rest of them and needs to learn to work with them in a better way. this isn't your job and you can't do it for him or for any of them.

[KoalaGirl]

We're "on" again, and on the one hand I'm scared to death. On the other, I feel closer to him than ever. Ugh, love is so stupid!

I sent him a package with a bunch of articles, some printouts of blogs by people with DID, and some resources from issd-t.org and other related sites. I included a letter that reiterated what I'd said before - that I don't need to know what happened, what's going on, or anything more than what he's comfortable with sharing or facing. I just want him to know I'm here for him, and I would ask that he try to read through the materials & consider that it is one possible explanation for what is going on. And I reminded him that he has said on multiple occasions that *something* has been going on that has him freaked out & that he fears will make me leave.

I just want us to acknowledge the elephant in the room, especially since he's pointed it out several times before retreating and exclaiming that he never said any such thing & that I'm just trying to make him out to be sick. I also wanted him to realize that if it *is* DID, it's not like the movies or like all the stereotypes. It doesn't mean you're crazy and hopeless. On the contrary, it means his highly-adaptive brain *kept* him from going insane...from utterly self-destructing, destroying himself with drugs or self-harm...or worse - victimizing others. Instead, he chose to go into a line of work where he helps others.

I also emphasized that it was not anything I was insisting on. It was a theory. One that I was just asking him to consider.

I think he may have dissociated when he got my package. We hadn't spoken in a few months and had only occasionally exchanged a few messages in email and IMs. Oddly, just a few days after the package had been delivered, a long-time suspected alter out of the blue said something that suggested to me he was acknowledging something in the letter - something where I was concerned about the eeriness of the likely-alters approaching and engaging me on Twitter as though they already knew me and we were picking up in the middle of a previous interaction or conversation.

I have absolutely no identifying information in my Twitter profile. There is a painting for my avatar, and my username is completely fictional - an obvious reference to a well-known writer. So it wasn't like someone would be attracted to my avatar or thought they knew me by my name.

So anyway, this suspected alter suddenly started acting strangely, got upset with me about something I never did or said, and generally acted very much like Tex. When I said he was acting a lot like my ex for someone who claims not to know him from Adam, he went silent. I assumed he went to sleep because of an (alleged) time difference. In the interim, Tex unblocked me from Whatsapp & completely out of context sent a message that said to quit with "the accusations" (at about 2 am). A few hours later, the suspect came back, then cut off communication with me.

When I messaged Tex, he was very matter-of-fact, as though we had not been on the outs for months. He said he was returning from a work trip that allegedly had him leave just a couple days before the package arrived. Then he suddenly messaged me and asked if I'd sent him a package. He said someone in the household had already opened it, discarded the box, and put the contents on his desk. Yet no one mentioned it or acted like they had opened his mail. It made no sense that anyone would do that and then not even mention it, much less throw away the box.

I'm not trying to be a drama queen. It just seems that the more these things happen, the more it seems apparent he has DID. Outside forces just couldn't coordinate something this elaborate - and with no apparent motivation.

And I think he suspects it, too. He vacillates between accusations that I'm just insane and imagining all these "mere" coincidences, and recognition that something legitimately is going on, although he sometimes goes to the most extreme & far-fetched of explanations (an ex of mine form 15 years ago is messing with us...an ex of *his* is messing with us.)

I'm cautiously optimistic. He acknowledged that he had pulled out all the worst to push me away and that he realized that he was "not easy to love" but that I kept breaking through the defenses anyway. He conceded that after all this time, there must be something meaningful in that.

We'll see what happens. He could change on me overnight. Anything could happen...he could invent any number of methods to push me away. But I think he at least trusts I'm not superficially interested in him, and I'm not scared off by the (suspected) Protector. In fact, the more garbage the Protector conjurs to push me away, the more I see though his flawed logic. And Tex seems to see it.

Ok, I've babbled long enough.

Wish us luck!

[KoalaGirl]

PS, I apologize, again, that I am utterly incapable of writing anything brief. *blush*

[nats]

definitely wishing you good luck (and no worries about lengthy posts)!

[KoalaGirl]

Headaches and illness...every time. We get back together, things are blissfully happy, and he gets terrified... I already pointed out countless times that he had bouts of "blinding" headaches followed by abrupt changes in personality - a full switch, I began to suspect. After a half dozen times of him saying he had such headaches, I asked if he got migraines. He said no. But every time it was the same - the headaches, dizziness, feeling "ill"...and then he was different. And a sudden new crop of odd personas on Twitter.

The circumtances of and similiarities to the alleged people behind these accounts are beyond coincidence, but he denies it vehemently. He stands far more to gain from convincing people he's got DID than convincing them he *doesn't*, but he will stand by the most absurd explanations (an old GF is stalking and messing with him or other things that don't hold wawter.) That's almost the most incriminating part. And if he were clever enough to pull off a hoax (I think he is brilliant, but I don't think anyone could be that compartmented without being actually compartmented), it would solve half of his problems instantly. Problems that I think alters start and he is left wondering why people are reacting & accusing him of stuff he never did.

We are just a few days short of being together...sort of...for 2 years. I've already known him more than that. I think this "anniversary" is sending him into a spiral because he wants us to be together, but he wants to skip the real-life part where people don't just magically get together and everything is perfect all the time just because they're madly in love.

So I noticed he suddenly seemed all over the place the last day or so. It's harder to discern when we're just chatting on Whatsapp vs. in person, but I've known him long enough to detect the subtle changes. And now it's very discernible to me. Maybe it's not DID, but it is absolutely something during which marked, distinctly different characterisitics, opinions, values, and declared expectations are expressed in noticeable patterns. Not like a mood disorder, where "ok, now he's irritable and sarcastic; now he's jokey and silly; now he's sad and morose; now he's suspicious and accusing". It's like a different person is at the helm. Mr. X is talking to me, being "normal", having a rational convo, expressing XYZ set of opinons and values. Then he ducks out and comes back. After a few words, I now recognize the characteristics of what I can only describe as a different, distinct personality. Sometimes that person will suddenly seem oblivious to inside jokes and references that we refer to all the time.

I said it for more than a year before I ever realized *it really is a totally different person*. I realized that at one point early on I asked if he had a twin he hadn't told me about, I referred to Jekyll & Hyde; and I referred to him as being "Other Tex". In fact, even this most recent time, I joked, "Who is this? Did someone hack Tex's computer, because this sure doesn't sound like him." (He was suddenly asking if I had interest in doing something that the guy I was talking to 5 minutres prior would have jumped off a cliff to avoid. Figuratively, of course.)

The variations (personalities) are distinct and recognizable enough that I can now identify them with just a few key words - phraseology, preferences, little idiosyncrasies. One is randomly offensive and kinda racist. He is extremely sarcastic and uses pedantic phrases - sort of canned ones often. If you have to leave a convo to Google one of his references, it's probably him. One is very selfless and wants to make sure your needs are met, even if it's a sacrifice to him. He wants you to be happy and is happy seeing you happy.

I could go on all night.

But the strangest thing was that he said he didn't want to bring up (essentially the elephant in the room), but apparently someone he knew well had asked him if a particular Twitter account was his. He asked me if I'd seen it and would check it out. I knew it as soon as he mentioned the handle because I had long suspected it as him, as had someone else who knows Tex well. I can tell when he encounters something like that - an account he "knows" isn't "his", but all evidence points to it being him - and it is kind of freaking him out because even he sees the similarities. He wouldn't elaborate, but I do wonder whether he sees it showing up in his login pulldown or something.

He also mentioned some weird account that seemed to know him and was being very obvious about the stuff she was sending him in gif or meme form - like references only someone who knew him would make. Like she was doing it to make it be known she knew him.

And then tonight. He had a rough day at work and a rough night which he didn't elaborate on. We were going to talk at a set time, but when the time came, he said he was suddenly very ill. He never says "sick". He says "ill". I know he will no longer tell me if he has a headache because he knows I'm going to say he's having a switch. But honestly, I wanted to ask him yesterday if he was having one because of the way he's been behaving the past day or so. I wasn't surprised at the announcement of illness.

So...I don't know. I told him recently that I was afraid I wasn't good for him because this seems to happen when we get back togther, but he insisted I was good for him. That I "healed him". We'll see what tomorrow brings.