Anxiety anyone?

[Cammy]

Some days I simply can't believe how over-whelmed with anxiety and panic that I am. I am constantly having to use my mind over my mind to battle the anxiety. Often I cope minute by minute just to get through the day and the long nights.

I have a new friend who has anxiety/panic disorder so bad that she lives on disability and can barely leave her house to work a few hours a week. I can totally relate, and since the traumatic death of my mom, I haven't left the house since March 27th. My anxiety is ramped up and it is often crippling. I wake up screaming and soaked in sweat. I am tired of this. Medication, meditation, CBT... nothing works to control it. If I DO manage to score a few minutes of relief here and there, it is strictly using my mind to push the anxiety out and keep only useful positive thoughts in my head.

Anyone here relate to this? I learned this pattern of behaviour very early in life and also was modeled this behaviour my entire life. I need an escape hatch seeing as little is working at this point. Any suggestions or sharing of similar struggles would be very much appreciated. I know that I can't be the only one here who has this issue. I thank you in anticipation of your comments and responses.

[Shadows]

Cammy, I wish that I could tell you that I relate totally but I don't. I've had crippling anxiety in the past but something happened years ago where a new part came an took over whenever we started to panic and everyone got locked up so that they couldn't react. Not actually the best, though. We manage to get through the day but it sounds like you are actually dealing with the anxiety head on, which might help more long term.

I'm not sure if this is helpful. I'm so new to this all I don't know how to give advice.

[nats]

we're more like Shadows too. anxiety exists somewhere, but we don't usually feel it. maybe someone decided it's OK for you to feel all of it now your main perp is gone? maybe not, but perhaps it's related?