Therapy or not therapy, that is the question

[cew]

HI all,
Part of my DID experience is multiple perspectives on nearly everything, which can be completely immobilizing.
Has anyone dealt with parts hostile to and sabotaging therapy, at the same time as other parts really want to be there? The sabotage is cunning. "You're going great. You don't need this bullish*t. Who does she think she is? Focus on your work and being in the here and now. You're an adult, for god's sake. Be in this moment. The past is the past. Move on already."
That sounds sensible, right? I mean, it's not healthy to dwell on the past. So why look at crap in therapy?
We should be creating strategies for more functional adult relationships and stuff.
Right?

[mosaic]

it has been my experience that the past can get in the way of being "in the moment", and that's why it needs to be addressed in therapy.

i suppose the ideal therapy actually does a little of both - helps process the past and helps with here and now living as well. it doesn't have to be either or.

[Tangled Web]

WOW cew! Some of those exact same phrases have been heard inside my head so many times, you took the words right out of our head.
It is SO difficult to dispute those things when they make SO much sense. It definitely makes one think...........and for us can halt things to a complete stop.
I agree with mosaic the "past" can definitely interfere with the present which is one of the reasons we attend therapy.
I am starting to discover though that when I start to be convinced more and more by those statements and start thinking of quitting it is most likely because something is going to change. Change is unpredictable for us and is not welcomed or accepted very well by many inside. It also can mean that we are about to or have already become too close to something that someone doesn't want us to know.
When I am able to keep going I usually find that some big revelation or light bulb moment has occurred and it almost makes it worth it.
Hope this helps
TW

[cew]

In the meantime, it has become clear that the messages not to go or to quit are from a part that wanted not to be revealed. It was trying to keep secrets. That was its job. I suppose this is pretty textbook. A huge break through in the last session, of course. So glad we went. So glad enough parts were determined to keep going.

[The People]

We had a protector teenager who would get angry with T and 'quit' during the early years. Eventually someone else would go back. We stopped T in the spring when our world was crumbling around us. We just couldn't take any more digging around. Like when someone is shot and they cannot remove it because it is too close to the heart or spine. Some stuff just cannot come out right now. We have neither energy nor money at this time

[nats]

that sums up where we are with this as well, we know there's stuff to work on but we were making no progress in the last couple of years of it and felt sufficiently OK to get by and ultimately... "We have neither energy nor money at this time". well said.

[MakersDozn]

Hi cew,

Great post. We've never had anyone inside resist therapy, but we know that it's common for other systems (and for singletons as well).

Hoping that your resistant insider will find a new perspective and feel more comfortable.

MDs

[rainbows]

Hello,
Well, we can understand abt Parts having different opinions about T and so many things too.
For us, we have not been able to find a T who has experience enuf or is willing to learn how to help us.
Small town life.
owell
We are Glad that yous were able to go on as you would like, in T.
from rainbows

[cew]

rainbows, nats, The People,
We know we are very fortunate to have access to good therapy. When we started, the main one in front had no idea all this was going on.  Doubts about it can come from there as well. "Like is this even really happening? How can this possibly be true?"

The life experiences are so disconnected, episodic, that putting them together feels sooooo hard.
The whole building trust in therapy is taking a lot of time and effort. Each part has it's own issues with that.
We have some awareness of gratitude for having a really great T and pdoc.

[Cammy]

I have in the past found therapy useful, but I have always been clear with myselves about the goal of therapy. We have never sought to integrate, but our therapy has been more directed at severe crises that pop up and we are having a difficult time managing. Initially, therapy was diagnostic, and that was a tremendous help in understanding what I was (even though it took me two years to accept the diagnosis). After that it has been basically crisis control, and checking in every so often to get someone to have a look at me and see if they notice something that has slipped my notice.

My opinion is that therapy with the right person with the right training is beneficial, especially if he/she can help manage those really rocky phases where we are potentially a danger to ourselves. The key is finding the right T or pdoc.