A step

[The People]

Pirate and family. I do not know if you come to read anymore but this is for you. One day i was thinking about a 12 step program I once attended. I was adament that one step did not belong. The one where we apologized to people we hurt. At the time I pulled back as I felt that I was the one who was harmed.

Recently I became more aware of the fact that in my attempts to heal I have sometimes thrown snowballs with rocks inside to keep people away, to protect myself, or to just lash out when I am angry. As a result I have driven people away.

Once I realized what this step really meant I have started to send out letters to people. Not everyone as I am not ready for that and pride says they deserved everything they got because I was so badly hurt. This may not be how the step works but I do not think it is always in my best interest to approach some people.

However, during our last exchanges before you disappeared from the boards someone here (silly teenagers) was very cocking toward you. Making out that our world was wonderful yada yada yada. I do believe that i angered you and most likely hurt you. For that i apologize. Peak and Two miss you here and perhaps some day youo will come back. Well, we all miss your little tips for survival and offers of rides on ships and juice with curly straws. The place is not the same without you. I sincerely apologize if I was the cause of your absence; or even part of it. I am not healed. Yes I am working on my book and it is helping. However, the sanctuary of MM will always be important to me as I know I can come here and be accepted even if everyone does not agree with at times or have no clue with regards to what i am talking about. I hope that the Pirate family is well with Chan, Gre and others. Peak and Two are good. Two got a 'Raggedann' doll for Christmas and the littles got an Alice Through the Looking Gass book from JOE. The book is slow going as Two has to analyze everything from the grand pictures to the funny people - or nonpeople - who show up at each new step she takes. We are getting a rocking chair to curl up in and this will become our reading corner. Take care my friend. I do hope you see this message. Perhaps if you have stopped visiting someone with your address could send it to you.