my T

[angel with wings]

Having issues with my T an I'm pretty upset with him an feeling resentful. He seems to be a fair weather T. When I'm needing to talk because I'm in a crises, he's no where to be found. When I'm doing well, then he wants to talk. I need him when things are bad, to have a voice of reason an guiidance. but he let's me to work things out alone and deal with the stress. When it passes an im ok, he'll say, now i'll talk to you. What does that mean? Why does he do this? I feel abandoned at my worst time. Does anybody else experience this?

[orek]

"When it passes an im ok, he'll say, now i'll talk to you."

Omigod, that's awful, and totally inappropriate! It's appropriate for a T to talk about how to handle crises and to set some boundaries re: availability, etc., but in the context of making sure you feel supported and nurtured. Without knowing more, I can only wonder and guess at why he does that. If it's because he comes from a certain school of thought that advocates that, I'd find a new T, personally. Or maybe he feels inadequate and fearful in the face of crises and so turns it back on his clients, consciously or not. That also isn't good and brings me back to finding a new T. I really can think of no justifiable reason for his handling your times of need this way--though I'm just spit balling and not seeing the whole picture, of course. Have there been other red flags and feelings of abandonment with this T? Or is this something new and unlike your previous experience of him? My advice is to trust your gut. Talk it out with him if you think he's a good fit for you all (normally), or search for a new T if not. Take it from one who wasted way too many years on bad and/or inadequate therapy relationships--it's not worth staying in those and not automatically your fault, even though we tend to assume that's the case. If it feels wrong, listen to that feeling.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you find some comfort and resolution soon.

[angel with wings]

thanks, i'll think about all you said.