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Troubled - The People - 07-26-2020

I think I have spoken previously about a friend who is quite old. She is 86. She has one son who is 60, has schizophrenia and is a drunk. Last night I had an issue with a store. I had just come from there so I made the mistake of calling him. He was already drunk. I don't know what possessed me. I wasn't handling hesitation at all well. The store had rung my card through twice. It shows up on my phone when my card has been used. So I knew right away. I called the police instead of confronting them. He asked me why I was making such a fuss and I (whoever was out) said "I am tired of people taking things from me."

There is a long story behind that statement. To do with family. I only had 2 small glasses of wine.

After telling me I made a fool of him he asked me (I forget) I said that I was going to go home and calm down. At that point he started chasing an electric scooter. He was like a mad man, yelling "you're not supposed to ride on the sidewalks! It says so on the machine!" I was so glad he forgot about me long enough for me to get on the bus.

I had my phone turned off but he called at least 5 times. Probably he passed out after that.

My friend fell last week. She didn't have her buzzing thing on but it would have gone to him and he would have been too drunk to hear the phone. She needs to be in a home but she refuses to go and he doesn't want her to go. Not because he wants her there. He relies on her money and doesn't want her to spend his inheritance.

I feel the need to speak up on this. I cannot be around him anymore. He appalls me. He is not capable of looking after her beyond cooking. Imagine the drugs he is on and mixing that with hard liquor. I am overwhelmed. He is a b*st*rd.

When I wouldn't allow him to take me home he yelled "we are almost all you have!"

I have real friends. I have my cat. I would rather have nothing than to have him. He is worse than nothing. However, I am the sole sane person that checks on her regularly. I am her friend. But she comes with him. I so worry about her. I am at a loss as to what to do.

RE: Troubled - mosaic - 07-26-2020

oh dear this is such a dilemma. that kind of friendship "baggage" is really tough to deal with. checking on her is a good thing to do. how to do it without getting entangled with his crap is a mystery to me. i wish i had something to suggest.

i hear your struggle and concern for her.

RE: Troubled - The People - 07-27-2020

I wrote a letter to my doctor who works with her doctor. She is at risk by living at home. I asked him to phone me if he couldn't ethically pass on the letter. With other suggestions. He hasn't called yet.

RE: Troubled - phoenix22 - 07-28-2020

Wonder if a word with social services might offer some help with this dilemma?
I'm not sure where in the world you are but here in the UK there are charities that offer help to the elderly ..perhaps you have similar where you are?