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+--- Thread: struggle with social skills (/showthread.php?tid=2663)
struggle with social skills - The People - 10-09-2018
Last night we went to a friend's house for an early Thanksgiving. We weren't told there would be strangers there. They all work together. They have all traveled. So I fed the dog from my plate and drank too much wine. It was noticed by the hosts.
I have embarrassed myself. Well, the teens and Two embarrassed us. I was switching all over the place.
We are not shy. We just get highly anxious when we are amoung strangers and having an off day. Feel like outsiders. If there is alcohol close by... it has become our replacement for food binges since we were dxd with Celiac. 1 small box of gluten free cookies costs a fortune and isn't nearly as tasty as other foods.
This replacement is not a good plan. We know it is dangerous. But so was the old way of doing it.
RE: struggle with social skills - mosaic - 10-09-2018
i cannot think of anything worse than being in a group where everyone but me has something in common (like working together and traveling a lot). talk about feeling like an outsider.
we struggle with social skills a lot - never having learned them as a kid. not sure we'll ever get it right.
i've been told the best way to be in a situation like you were in is to be curious about someone's travels, etc., and get them talking to me about themselves. i've been told people love to talk about themselves - i hate talking about myself, so it's hard for me to imagine.
we hope you can come up with a new plan - we have no idea what it would look like, but dangerous is not good.
RE: struggle with social skills - nats - 10-18-2018
agree with mosaic that the questions can work well. when we're in an awful situation like you describe we find something vaguely interesting (and not taboo/sensitive) about what someone says then ask a few questions and express interest. if they respond positively keep going for a bit, if not, try the same with someone else. be a bit careful though, as many men you try this with will pretty immediately assume you fancy them - otherwise, it's a great way to pass the time till you can leave...
RE: struggle with social skills - The People - 10-19-2018
Thanks the 2 of you. We hadn't gone inward that much in a long time. So it was as if the emotional deafness took over right away. We kept cutting in and out so it was hard to figure out when to dive in. One of the women was an artist and it would have been so interesting to speak with her as she was putting together a show. She is an artist.