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+--- Thread: Loss in Family (MT) (/showthread.php?tid=1484)
Loss in Family (MT) - MakersDozn - 10-01-2014
Our father died at 3:19 AM Eastern yesterday (September 30).
He was 76 years old.
![[+]](/images/collapse_collapsed.png "[+]")
SpoilerWe have two younger brothers. The first one lives out of state, about four hours away. He is married and has two teenage daughters. The second one is mildly disabled and lived with our father. The three of us are leaning on each other and doing what needs to be done.
The service, etc. will be tomorrow (Thursday). We will probably be back online Friday.
Thank you to all our MM friends for your support.
MDs
(Edited to fix spoiler)
RE: Loss in Family (MT) - mosaic - 10-01-2014
So sorry for your loss.
RE: Loss in Family (MT) - Reilly - 10-01-2014
Sorry to hear of your Father's passing. Sending comforting thoughts your way.
RE: Loss in Family (MT) - angel with wings - 10-01-2014
Sorry for your loss.
RE: Loss in Family (MT) - Tangled Web - 10-01-2014
So Sorry for your loss MDs
RE: Loss in Family (MT) - MakersDozn - 10-04-2014
Thanks, everyone. We appreciate all your support.
We keep wanting to call our father and talk about baseball.
One step at a time. We usually go over to pay his bills on Saturdays. And we want to see how our brother is holding up. He's the emotional one, and he lived with him.
And he wants to keep living in the house indefinitely. It goes to the three of us equally. We and our other brother are trying to convince him of the practical reasons why we'll need to eventually sell it. That's just one of a number of things that we all have to deal with.
MDs
RE: Loss in Family (MT) - Tangled Web - 10-04-2014
Taking things one step at time is what helped us get through also. Sitting here listening and offering you a cup a hot tea.
TW
RE: Loss in Family (MT) - MakersDozn - 10-04-2014
Thanks. We're going over to the house now, but we'll probably be back on later today.
MDs
RE: Loss in Family (MT) - nats - 10-05-2014
so sorry MDs. just keep taking each bit in its own time.
RE: Loss in Family (MT) - The People - 10-05-2014
First of all I am soo sorry as I know you had a good relationship with your father. Maybe like you with baseball your younger brother wants your Dad to show up. I have done some research in grief and loss. If it is doable would your brother be capable of staying in the house for a year? That is what they recommend to many people. That you don't change much of anything in that first year. Not just out of respect but because people need time to grieve and come to terms with things. You will all need that. But moving your brother out f the house abruptly could send him into a tailspin. Perhaps you could start planning but not push it too hard. We all grieve in our own way but it would be very sad for him to have to go through so many changes so quickly. I do recognize that this may put added pressure on you and your other brother but just throwing in my nickel.
RE: Loss in Family (MT) - MakersDozn - 10-07-2014
(10-05-2014, 12:34 PM)nats Wrote: so sorry MDs. just keep taking each bit in its own time.
Thanks, nats.
MDs
RE: Loss in Family (MT) - MakersDozn - 10-07-2014
(10-05-2014, 03:27 PM)The People Wrote: First of all I am soo sorry as I know you had a good relationship with your father. Maybe like you with baseball your younger brother wants your Dad to show up. I have done some research in grief and loss. If it is doable would your brother be capable of staying in the house for a year? That is what they recommend to many people. That you don't change much of anything in that first year. Not just out of respect but because people need time to grieve and come to terms with things. You will all need that. But moving your brother out f the house abruptly could send him into a tailspin. Perhaps you could start planning but not push it too hard. We all grieve in our own way but it would be very sad for him to have to go through so many changes so quickly. I do recognize that this may put added pressure on you and your other brother but just throwing in my nickel.
Thanks. Much appreciated.
Brother #2 is definitely attached to the house, and we know that him staying there, at least for the time being, is an important part of his process. The house was deeded over to the three of us equally a couple of years ago, so that it wouldn't count as part of our father's assets should he have to go into a nursing home. Part of the legal document stated that our father would be allowed to live in the house for as long as he wanted.
The house has a mortgage. Property taxes in the area are significant, as are utility costs. Brother #2 has no real awareness of the finances involved. He is an office clerk. There is no way that he could maintain the house even if he wanted to.
Our father had a life insurance policy, and a pension....but how much of a dent will it make? There are also estate taxes, inheritance taxes....it scares the living crap out of us.
One step at a time.
MDs
RE: Loss in Family (MT) - orek - 10-09-2014
[quote='MakersDozn' pid='10075' dateline='1412200223']
Our father died at 3:19 AM Eastern yesterday (September 30).
So sorry, MDs. I'm glad you sibs are leaning on each other. Take care.
RE: Loss in Family (MT) - MakersDozn - 10-13-2014
Thanks, orek.
MDs