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+--- Thread: That's not me (/showthread.php?tid=1265)
That's not me - Downtherabbithole - 04-13-2014
Last night my mum said my hit looked ok but she preferred my natural colour, shed previously had said she preferred my hair long, she keeps telling me my full name is my name when I object to being called by that name. Like my name being shortened I feel ill or revulsion to be called by original name now I find the same thing when ppl say prefer me with hair used to have. Yeah cause I really want the hair of the victim, or the name of one. Is that what everyone wants me to be, the victim. Well I don't!! So every one needs to get off my back.. Grr
RE: That's not me - nats - 04-14-2014
frustrating - responses like that dismiss and negate who you want to be - best politely ignored perhaps.
RE: That's not me - Twin Volition - 04-30-2014
We had problems with names for a long time too, but eventually we got people to use the ones we preferred. I agree, it feels very degrading for people to dismiss who you are, even in small ways. Self-image and identity are already difficult and complex as it is, so the least people can do is not make it worse by using the wrong names.
Have you tried explaining to them why exactly it's painful to be called a certain way? From personal experience, I can say it's sometimes a simple matter of misunderstanding. I'm sure they don't mean any harm by using your full name or suggesting things about your appearance, so maybe if you got them to see what makes those things objectionable, they'd be willing to cooperate.