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+--- Thread: why do i blank..? (/showthread.php?tid=1130)
why do i blank..? - nats - 01-21-2014
why, when i feel upset or attacked does the mind go completely blank? this is really not a helpful survival mechanism. imagine being in the middle of an argument, not knowing what they've just said that upset you. not knowing what you've just said that upset them. trying to pretend you do. don't necessarily even think it's switching. the crucial information just disappears till the challenge is over. makes it very difficult to explain ourselves or provide a verbal answer to a question. how is this useful!!?
RE: why do i blank..? - tweeter - 01-23-2014
(01-21-2014, 01:54 PM)nats Wrote: why, when i feel upset or attacked does the mind go completely blank? this is really not a helpful survival mechanism. imagine being in the middle of an argument, not knowing what they've just said that upset you. not knowing what you've just said that upset them. trying to pretend you do. don't necessarily even think it's switching. the crucial information just disappears till the challenge is over. makes it very difficult to explain ourselves or provide a verbal answer to a question. how is this useful!!?
Out of my depth. I'll try to come up with something. What stuck with me is that "the crucial information just disappears till the challenge is over." So, you recall after the crisis has become less acute. But, you don't lose the ability to speak at any time.
Ideas:
You've partially shut down verbally, as the result of a severe anxiety, panic, reaction. The analogy, in terms of survival value that comes to mind is of a little fawn hiding in the forest, able to do so by giving off as few relevant signals as possible.
Yet you're able to speak; just temporarily missing data, the expression of which might have escalated the encounter by triggering the aggressor. Hence, a behavioral reflex that did serve to protect you and/or someone else in the past. Maybe something you repetitively witnessed.
Interesting conjecture, which I accept as a possibility.
Maybe you retreated into a more primitive consciousness, but that's too much of a stretch. Doesn't add up by itself.
How about unaware co-presence? That makes sense.
I hope I've been able to help, and not caused too much discomfort.
tweeter
RE: why do i blank..? - nats - 01-23-2014
thanks so much for responding tweeter. think you've touched on something with 'giving off as few signals as possible.' when we were little we imagined we could turn invisible if we held very still and kept eyes closed. this blanking of needed information happens in any stressful situation or when we're put on the spot - e.g. i lose the ability to calculate 2+3 or to remember from one sentence to the next what we're arguing about. maybe it is someone else blocking for some unclear protective reason. maybe it's about shutting down anything considered unnecessary when we feel threatened. not sure. just know that it's a really frustrating and unhelpful reaction. we're constantly pretending that we know why someone is angry with us or that we can count our change in the shops but don't want to (thank god for credit cards!!).
RE: why do i blank..? - Tangled Web - 01-24-2014
Hi nats. There have been times when I have been talking about things and for some reason my mind goes completely blank. I hate it when it happens right in the middle of a sentence. I have been told it is a form of dissociation. Sometimes I can get the thoughts back but most of the time they are lost. It is frustrating. I don't "switch" or anything, I am still present and know that I was talking about something and that I did have a point to make but all my thoughts and the topic of what was being discussed have been erased somehow and I have a feeling of being lost. I haven't figured out why it happens or how to prevent it from happening, it just happens. It is hard to figure out why we needed that defense mechanism as a child and I am sure it had served a purpose in protecting us at one point in time but it is frustrating when it kicks in without warning as we are an adult and no longer need or want it to happen anymore. Sitting here listening.
TW
RE: why do i blank..? - nats - 01-24-2014
thanks TW, that sounds very much the same, except i do it every time i feel nervous/upset (i.e. heightened emotional state i guess). i usually manage to cover and pretend i know what i've just been saying or wanted to say, but can't imagine what useful survival purpose doing this would have served..
RE: why do i blank..? - Tangled Web - 01-24-2014
I may be way off base here but I think the purpose it served in the past, was when we were in situations like that it was not safe to express in words how we felt due to the consequences. As children they lack a certain "verbal filter" and as parents we try to teach to them to think before they speak........well I think we just took that lesson one step further so to speak and if the words were no longer there we didn't have to worry about them flying out of our mouth and suffering the consequences.
Does that make sense?
RE: why do i blank..? - tweeter - 01-24-2014
(01-24-2014, 05:06 PM)Tangled Web Wrote: I may be way off base here but I think the purpose it served in the past, was when we were in situations like that it was not safe to express in words how we felt due to the consequences. As children they lack a certain "verbal filter" and as parents we try to teach to them to think before they speak........well I think we just took that lesson one step further so to speak and if the words were no longer there we didn't have to worry about them flying out of our mouth and suffering the consequences.
Does that make sense?
It's what came to mind when I read nats' last post. Nothing for me to add. Makes fine sense.
tweets
RE: why do i blank..? - The People - 02-12-2014
That's the dissociation. It is automatic pilot like we learned all of those years ago. I remember when we used to exercise a lot. Sometimes we would get soooo angry when we reached a certain level. A man we didn't even know said it was just the fight or flight. The brain has been sooooo programmed to go that way with adrenalin. It cannot differentiate b/t old type adrenalin and modern type adrenalin. So I go flight or fight which in some cases is figt and anger. Dissociating is a firm of flight. My thoughts.